"Mass tomorrow?"

It was then that the fox appeared.

Alumni Homecoming.

Twenty years. Quite long. But it seems it was only yesterday when I last set foot on this same ground in my high school quadrangle.

Mixed emotions. I felt my tummy filled with butterflies. Bringing nausea to my senses. My heart is beating fast. So fast that it seems I will break into tears.

"Haaahh! Twenty years. Would my classmates still know me? Maybe. I have a couple of friends I still communicate with even right after graduation. But the rest, would they recognize me?"

"What changes have I been to? Just the humungous butt, more fats under my belly, in my arms and legs, and some unwanted wrinkles."

I became more hesitant.

"Argh! I have grown fatter."

I wasn't sexy then. The more that I am not now. I wasn't extra-ordinarily pretty then. The more that I am not now. I wasn't that intelligent then. Just an average girl. What now?

I asked myself, "What are my achievements so far after twenty years?"

"Not much. I mean, none so far I can really be proud of."

I started backing out. Not walking. I am more like running. Then I bumped into someone. I almost fell to the ground with my heavy torso.

"Maria! Maria, is that you?"

"Hhmmm… not bad. Somebody recognized me. But was that an interrogative statement I heard?"

"Myra. Yes, it's me. How do you do?"

"I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm in the advertising. I usually come out in commercials for shampoos, bags and garments. Oh well, the undergarments. You?"

There was an emphasis. I looked at her towering beauty. I closed my eyes before I can say a word.

"I'm a preschool teacher."

That's it! I blew it off! I didn't sound impressive. The more that I didn't look impressive with my jeans and plain white shirt. No accessory. Just powder and lip gloss.

"Come on. Let's get inside. The rest are there waiting for us. I heard there's Bless from Canada, Delia from Dubai, Glenda from London, Roa from Denmark and Tina from California (blah-blah-blah!!!). And guess who I saw early this afternoon?"

I didn't want to guess who she was referring to. In my heart, I knew who he is. And in my heart, though I prayed for this moment to come, I wish that I just burst like a bubble and be gone.

Myra noticed my silence. She didn't pursue the topic. Instead she pulled me back to where the crowd was and like in the movies, in slow motion, I was there in the middle of all the classmates I journeyed with in my four years in high school.

"So this is the feeling of going back." I thought to myself.

There were the people Myra mentioned. Some are still dark-skinned. Others fairer than before. One of them said she is a cosmetic endorser. The other giggled off, "I almost stay in the spa. Scrubbing off every dead skin cell in my body. Quite expensive though. But it's fine with my British boyfriend."

I laughed with them. But with jarred pent-up emotion I cannot name. 

Some I noticed have yellow gold all over them. Not just one in both ears. They have several in the neck, in their wrists and in their ankles. For some, they look as plain as I am though more sophisticated.

"Nah!" shoved off by that little voice inside me. "They only look more confident. Try leveling your chin to your shoulders. Sit, not slouch. Smile more often. Look at them in the eye when you talk or when you listen to what they are saying."

I did.

After some time, I became more comfortable. I stopped comparing myself to the rest of the group. My laugh grew more genuine now. I'm starting to enjoy myself.

Our conversations went on. Stories of men in engineering and architecture. Snippets of women's struggles in a men-dominated area. Tessa was one of them. Very inspiring.

Then came cars they own. House and lots in various points in the archipelago and outside it. Investments here and there. Stock market. Economics. Politics. Commerce. Fashion. Toners. Eye-shadows. Bags. Perfumes. Movies. Local and Hollywood stars. Name it, we have discussed them all. An hour. Two. Three.

Dinner was about to be served.

Our tête-á-tête seem not to reach an end. And just when I thought I am almost gaining confidence, I saw those pair of deep-set eyes. Same pair that melt my heart. Same pair that broke my heart into bits and bits of pieces. I wanted to look away. But they have their own lure that makes it difficult for me to do so.

He was looking to. Staring intensely. Seem not aware that he was with someone. His wife.

I looked down my feet. I noticed my fingers fidgeting and felt my toes as cold as ice. I felt ashamed. So awkward.

"Hi!" was his short greeting. Same voice I fell in love with.

Then I was transported twenty-three years ago along that small street to Bless's place.

"I will be coming tomorrow whether you invite me to your birthday or not. I don't care. My brothers already left for Manila. I asked them that I stay because I want to be with you on your special day." 

I felt so happy. But I didn't say a word.

"I'll bring you home."

Inside the tricycle we were so close I can feel his deep breathing and his heart beat… seems heaven to me. But I didn't say a word.

"Hope you liked my gift. It's not as expensive as the stuff toy you received from Eman but hope you appreciate it."

I smiled. I told myself, "I will forever carry it with me." But I didn't say a word.

"Care for another room in your umbrella?" was the chant of almost wet youngsters in the school shed.

I looked up my room. I saw my class adviser by the porch from whom I have promised to strive harder in the academics.

"No boys!" she said early that morning.

"No boys!" I repeated.

Then I walked passed him. Not saying a word.

"I would rather hurt myself, than to ever make you cry. There's nothing left to say, though it's gonna hurt us both. There's no other way, but to say goodbye."… goes their song.

I head on without looking at his direction. Not saying a word.

"Do you love him?" was John's question. "He's waiting for you. He needs you. His mother is not well."

I went on arranging the flowers for the recognition. I didn't say a word.

"He's with someone now." John confirmed.

I just stared. Moved away with tears welling from my eyes. I didn't say a word.

"Maria," Bless's calling my name brought me back to reality. "Miss Si wants to see you."

I excused myself. Thankful a bit. At least I have time to think and decide whether I leave the place or stay and hurt myself even more.

After a light talk with my then adviser-mentor turned colleague, I opted to just go home and call it a night.

I passed through the darker alley at the back gate where I usually pass through every time I escape from scrutinizing gaze way back in high school. My mind went back to its natural flow of recollection.

This was the alley that witnessed my tears when I learned he was with someone. I sat near the plants. I even pulled some. All my frustration, my anger and my depression poured into the innocent plants.

Then I heard footsteps. I turned around. I saw his penetrating eyes overpowering me – the little confidence that I have.

Was that pain? I wasn't sure.

Was that hatred? I'm not certain.

Was that love I see in his eyes?

"You have really mastered the art of escaping."

I just stared back. I wanted to capture that love in his eyes. I wanted to say something.  But at the last minute, I decided to keep my silence. Then I walked away.

If it was impossible then, the more that it is now.

Yesteryears, I should have said something, but I did not. That, I know is my greatest mistake.

But now, if I said what I should have said, I will not just destroy my life but cause so much pain to innocent people I care and love.

I smiled to myself. A bitter smile.

Then tears welled off my eyes.

Tears that ended a love story that never was.

Now this is the picture of a watch I saw from an e-shop that I intend to buy as treat for myself for having kept myself busy yet gave myself much time to do what I really wanted to do -- reading books, studying and of course, bonding with my kids and family and friends. Hope I will be able to buy this before the year ends.

Visit my blogsites more often: www.marjo-lifeinamirror.blogspot.com and www.blogtext.org/CABAnata

Mothers always lie..........

We’re in the same stage right now. I still love my work as a Guidance Counselor, but I also feel I have a heart for kids with special needs. I’m not a hypocrite though. I want to feel the snow in my palms, but just the thought of leaving my children for at least six months breaks me. I now experience doubts to pursue my American dream. My goal now is geared towards having my own home school for Filipino children with special needs. I can be an educator and a counselor at the same time. The problem now lies on where I would get my finances for that great dream for a home school.

 PHILIPPINE GUIDANCE AND COUNSELING ASSOCIATION, INC.
Accredited Professional Organization of Professional Regulatory Commission

PROPOSED CODE OF ETHICS

PREAMBLE

The Philippine Guidance and Counseling Association, Inc. (PGCA) is an organization of helping professionals whose members are committed to the development of the well-functioning individual in a society utilizing his/her potentials to the fullest. Members of the Association are bound to uphold the dignity and worth of the individual throughout life in the following settings: educational, community, clinical, hospital, or industry

This Code of Ethics in Guidance and Counseling expresses the ethical principles and values of the Association and serves as a guide to the professional and personal conduct of all its members. It also informs the public which they serve of the standards of ethical conduct for which members are to be responsible and accountable. The Code reflects such values as integrity, competence, responsibility and an understanding of and respect for the cultural diversity of society.

Members have a responsibility to ensure that they are familiar with this Code of Ethics, understand its application to their professional and personal conduct, and strive to adhere to its principles and values. They should also be familiar with other sources of information which will assist them in making informed professional decisions. These include the laws, rules and regulations, and policies which are professionally relevant in their working environment.

Members are accountable to both the public and their peers and are therefore subject to the complaints and disciplinary procedures of the Philippine Guidance and Counseling Association. By accepting this statement of ethics, members of the Association are committing themselves to act ethically in the provision of professional services.

ETHICAL PRINCIPLES

The expectations for ethical conduct as expressed in this Code are based on the following fundamental principles:

• Respecting human rights and dignity
• Respect for the client’s right to be self-governing
• A commitment to promoting the client’s well being
• Fostering responsible caring
• Fair treatment of all clients and the provision of adequate services
• Equal opportunity to clients availing counseling services
• Ensuring the integrity of practitioner-client relationship
• Fostering the practitioner’s self-knowledge and care for self
• Enhancing the quality of professional knowledge and its application
• Responsibility to the society

CHAPTER I
PROFESSIONAL RESPONSIBILITY

1. General Responsibility. Counselors maintain a high standard of professional competence and ethical behavior thereby recognizing the need for continuing education in order to meet this responsibility.

2. Respect for Rights. Counselors respect the rights of a client and uphold the integrity of the counseling profession. They participate in only those practices which are respectful of the legal, civic, and moral rights of others, and act to safeguard the dignity and rights of their clients, students, and research participants.

3. Boundaries of Competence. Counselors limit their practices within their professional competence, educational background, and personal experience as what the laws, rules, guidelines, accreditation and credential are concerned. If the counseling needs of a client are beyond the counselor’s expertise and competence appropriate referral must be made.

4. Continuing Education. Counselors must be updated with the current trends and development in the profession through active participation in scientific and professional endeavor.

5. Research and Development. Counselors must engage in research activities for the advancement of the counseling profession. They have the responsibility to disseminate such information through presentation and publication.

6. Ethical Behavior. Counselors must uphold the values and ethical principles operating in this Code.

7. Sensitivity to Diversity. Counselors must recognize and respect client’s diversity in terms of socio-economic status.

8. Equal Opportunity. Counselors must provide equal opportunity to everyone to avail of the counseling services in various setting regardless of age, gender, socioeconomic status, civil status, religion, culture, ethnicity, disability, and sexual orientation.

9. Good Quality of Practice. Counselors must provide quality service at all times.

10. They continually monitor their effectiveness as professionals and take steps to improve when necessary.

11. Knowledge of Legislative Laws. Counselors have a responsibility to read, understand, and follow Republic Act 9258 (Guidance and Counseling Act of 2004) and its Implementing Rules and Regulations. Other mandated laws protecting the interest of clients’ rights should be known to the practicing counselors.

12. Extension of Ethical Responsibilities. Counseling services and products provided by counselors through classroom instruction, public lectures, demonstrations, publications, radio and television programs, computer technology and other media must meet the appropriate ethical standards of this Code of Ethics.

CHAPTER II
COUNSELING RELATIONSHIP

1. General Responsibility. Counselors have a primary responsibility to respect the integrity and promote the welfare of their clients. They work collaboratively with clients in creating counseling that are consisted with client abilities and needs.

2. Confidentiality. The counselor must preserve and safeguard the confidentiality of the clients except:

2.1 When disclosure is required to prevent clear and imminent danger to the client or others;
2.2 When legal requirements demand that confidential matter be revealed;

3. TO BE INCORPORATED WITH RESEARCH Children and Persons with Diminished Capacity. Counselors conduct the informed consent process with those legally appropriate to give consent when counseling, assessing, and having as research subjects’ children and/or persons with diminished capacity. These clients also give consent to such services or involvement commensurate with their capacity to do so.

4. Maintenance of Records. Counselors must maintain records in sufficient detail to track the sequence and nature of professional services rendered and consistent with any legal, regulatory, agency, or institutional requirement. They secure the safety of such records and, create, maintain, transfer, and dispose of them in a manner complaint with the requirements of confidentiality and other articles of this Code of Ethics.

5. Access to Records. Counselors must understand that clients have the right to access their counseling records. Disclosure of such information to others is possible only through the clients informed consent or when mandated by law

6. Dual Relationships. Counselors must avoid personal, intimate and / or business relationships with clients that may jeopardize this Code of Ethics

7. REFER TO CHAPTER I NUMBER 8 Respecting Diversity. Counselors actively work to understand the diverse cultural background of the clients with whom they work, and do not condone or engage in discrimination based on age, color, culture, ethnicity, disability, gender, religion, sexual orientation, marital, or socioeconomic status.

8. INCLUDE CHAPTER 4Consulting with other Professionals. Counselors may consult with other professionally competent persons about the client. However, if the identity of the client is to be revealed, it is done with the written consent of the client. Counselors choose professional consultants in a manner which will avoid placing the consultant in a conflict of interest situation.

9. Relationships with Former Clients. Counselors remain accountable for any relationships established with former clients. Those relationships could include, but are not limited to those of a friendship, social, financial, and business nature. Counselors exercise caution about entering any such relationships and take into account whether or not the issues and relational dynamics present during the counseling have been fully resolved and properly terminated.

10. REFER CHAPTER 2 NUMBER 8Sexual Intimacies. Counselors avoid any type of sexual intimacies with clients and they do not counsel persons with whom they have had a sexual relationship. Counselors do not engage in sexual intimacies with former clients within a minimum of three years after terminating the counseling the counseling relationship. This prohibition is not limited to the three year period but extends indefinitely if the client is clearly vulnerable, by reason of emotional or cognitive disorder, to exploitative influence by the counselor. Counselors, in all such circumstances, clearly bear the burden to ensure that no such exploitative influence has occurred, and to seek consultative assistance.

11. Termination of Counseling. Counselors must terminate the counseling relationships when it is deemed necessary. More specifically terminating the counseling relationships should be done when

11.1. goals of counseling have been met.
11.2. clients condition is beyond the counselors expertise.
11.3. transference or counter-transference issues are evident.

12. Computer Use. When computer applications are used as a component of counseling services, as in testing or assessment, counselors must ensure that: (a) client is capable of using the computer application; (b) the computer application is appropriate to the needs of the client; and (c) the client understands the purpose and operation of computer application. Pertinent records stored in the computer such as counseling transcription, test data and personal information data must be kept with confidentiality. In any case, computer applications do not diminish the counselor’s responsibility to act in accordance with the PGCA Code of Ethics, and in particular, to ensure adherence to the principles of confidentiality, informed consent, and safeguarding against harmful effects.

CHAPTER III
CONSULTING AND PRIVATE PRACTICE

1. General Responsibility. Counselors provide consultative services only in those areas in which they have demonstrated competency by virtue of their education and experience.

2. Undiminished Responsibility and Liability. Counselors who work in private practice, whether incorporated or not, must ensure that there is no diminishing of their individual professional responsibility to act in accordance with the PGCA Code of Ethics, or in their liability for any failure to do so.

3. Consultative Relationships. Counselors ensure that consultation occurs within a voluntary relationship between a counselor and a client, group, or organization, and that the goals are understood by all parties concerned.

4. Informed Consent. Counselors, who provide services for the use of third parties, acknowledge and clarify for the informed consent of clients, all obligations of such consulting relationships, including the purpose, entitlement to information, and any restrictions on confidentiality. Third parties may include public and private institutions, funding agencies, employees, and so forth.

5. Accurate Advertising. Counselors, when advertising services as private practitioners, do so in a manner that accurately and clearly informs the public of their services, areas of expertise, credentials such as licensure and accreditation in an accurate manner that is no