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| Posted: Sep.02.2008 @ 6:36 pm | Lasted edited: Sep.02.2008 @ 5:37 am |
From: Quintos, Mary Catherine
02/09/2008
10:21 AM
“Congrats, Jo! Galing, ah!” ;-)
That was Kate’s text message which I was able to read by half passed eleven.
The first word… I felt numbness.
Then my toes got some tingles.
Then my fingers came fidgeting.
Then I started jumping and shouting and laughing and crying all at once.
Arleen came from the other cubicle… shocked with how I was acting.
Students passing by were staring questioningly, too… but they kept their smiles to themselves. Or just maybe, they were too polite to tell me how crazy-looking I was.
But what the heck! I don’t care. Don’t care a bit.
Exactly a month ago, I had a pile of books, photocopied notes, course syllabus and anything I could get from my cabinet, from friends, from the bookstore and from my supportive MAGAC adviser on my table… table in my cubicle, table in my study, table in the dining, divan near the kitchen, on my bed, and even under my bed.
Two weeks before that, I passed my application for the board examination at PRC Baguio.
But two weeks thereafter, I haven’t read a single line of any introduction of any of the materials under my perusal.
Then, I only had three weeks…
God knows how I squeezed in all the words in my mentally-challenged brain in a weeks time. (Yeah, God gave me just a week to realize I have to do something, or else…)
August 21-22, 2008.
Judgment Day.
Then there was “Luker”.
Then restless nights came as I wait for the result. During those times I was able to get some sleep, I had nightmares. (Picture the suffering!??)
Then today came.
And Kate’s text message.
Ahhhhhhh!!! Sweet success!
I have come to conclude that the following leads you somewhere:
1. tons of prayer,
2. a lot of guts,
3. a little pressure to make it tolerable,
4. some procrastination (I did this through sleep),
5. a good deal of common sense for unexpected and inevitable circumstances,
6. a que-sera-sera attitude (Got it from my beloved Mom’s lullaby… sure she’s one happy and 7. proud Mom as she looks down on me now!)
7. blank stares over a pile of reading materials,
8. a mug of water before squeezing in some info,
9. a wrap of Quake, a chocolate-coated muffin everyday or make it twice a day to become more effective, and
10. blogging!!!!!!
Believe me, this list works. It gave me two professional licenses in a year! You can disarrange it according to how it suits you.
Now these I say are my OFFICIAL MEMORY ENHANCERS!!! |
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| Posted: Sep.02.2008 @ 6:34 pm |
Guidance Counselor Licensure Examination Results August 2008
The Professional Regulation Commission (PRC) announces that 84 out of 140 passed the Guidance Counselor Licensure Examination given by the Board of Guidance and Counseling.
The members of the Board of Guidance and Counseling are Lily Rosqueta-Rosales, Officer-in-Charge; and Luzviminda S. Guzman, Member. Registration for the issuance of Professional Identification Card (ID) and Certificate of Registration will be announced later. Those who will register are required to bring the following: duly accomplished Oath Form or Panunumpa ng Propesyonal, current Community Tax Certificate (cedula), 2 pieces passport size picture (colored with white background and complete nametag), 1 piece 1" x 1" picture (colored with white background and complete nametag), 2 sets of metered documentary stamps, and 1 short brown envelope with name and profession; and to pay the Initial Registration Fee of P600 and Annual Registration Fee of P450 for 2008-2011. Successful examinees should personally register and sign in the Roster of Registered Professionals.
The oathtaking ceremony of the successful examinees in the said examination as well as the previous ones who have not taken their Oath of Professional will be held before the Board on Sunday, September 28, 2008, at 1:30 in the afternoon, at the Centennial Hall, Manila Hotel, One Rizal Park, Manila.
Successful Examinees in the GUIDANCE COUNSELOR LICENSURE EXAMINATION
1 ALDAY, MYRA PATRON
2 AQUI, ANNA CHRISTINA SANTOS
3 ATILLO, ANALENE NATIVIDAD
4 AWINGAN, WILMALYN ADAG
5 BABANTO, RHEENA ESTER BANTULA
6 BACOSA, LEAH SIOSON
7 BASAWIL, CECILE AGUILAN
8 BAUTISTA, ANGELIE DOLIGOSA
9 BAUTISTA, MARIA THERESA MERCADO
10 BELTRAN, FLORY CAYABYAB
11 BUENAFE, FINI JOY PALACIO
12 BUSTILLO, ANGELI BALDOVINO
13 CABACUNGAN, NERISSA GONZALES
14 CABARON, LYNMARIE THERESE ARANETA
15 CADANO, KRISTINE CEPE
16 CALLO, FRANCES RUTH LOURDES SESPERES
17 CANLAS, CHERRY LOU DUQUE
18 CARDENAS, MARIA TERESA TABUÑAR
19 CARLOS, KRISTINA ROSE GUIAO
20 CHAN, CHERRY LO
21 CHUA, CLAUDINE SY
22 CIPRIANO, ADARNA MIRASOL
23 CORTEZ, MARIA DOROTHY ALONZO
24 CORTEZ, MARYROSE PICO
25 CUA, CYMBELINE CHAN
26 CUDEL, ANDREW DE LUNA
27 DAVID, ADONIS PACLEB
28 DE CASTRO, FRANCINE ROSE ASUNCION
29 DELA CRUZ, SHERILLYN DIZON
30 DIZON, MICHELLE MARIE CALIXTO
31 DIZON, STEPHANIE ROSE TOLENTINO
32 DOMENDEN, NHORLY URBIZTONDO
33 GAGNI, ELIZABETH MARFEL FORTES
34 GONZALEZ, MARIA MARGARITA CRISOSTOMO
35 HOGGANG, GERALDA PINOY-AN
36 IMBANG, LEI MARIE FENETE
37 JANAIRO, EFRAEM ABAD
38 JOSUE, MARY JOCELYN BALANGUE
39 JOVER, MURIEL MINERVA
40 KURZE, ANDREA ROBERTO
41 LAWAS, RICKY REMETIO
42 LEGASPI, ESTESA XARIS QUE
43 LINGALING, ROSALIE OSALVO
44 LOPEZ, JOCELYN BUENAVENTURA
45 LUBONG, MARICEL VELASCO
46 MAURICIO, CANDY DELA CRUZ
47 MEDINA, FERDINAND LABIOS
48 MENDOZA, ANNIE TANCIOCO
49 MORES, ELMERANDO TAGUIBAO
50 NAVAL, JEANETTE VICTORIA ALBANO
51 NAVAREZ, JOEL CASTILLO
52 NAYVE, MARY ANNE LOPEZ
53 NGO, MYRLINDA ROSE ABAD
54 OAEL, IRENE CULAS
55 OCAMPO, MARICAR BERNARDO
56 OIDE, CONCHITA LICUANAN
57 PADSOYAN, REYNALYN TAYAWA
58 PAELANO, AARON MAGNO
59 PAJARILLAGA, FLERIDA SANTIAGUEL
60 PANTALEON, JAYMEE ABIGAIL KLINEFELTER
61 PAPAS, LOVELYN SISON
62 PARCASIO, AURORA PAULO
63 PAULO, MARY GRACE BLASICO
64 PIDLAOAN, KAREN CUSTODIO
65 PRE, JULIUS CUARESMA
66 QUEMI, MARIFEL PONCE
67 QUIAMNO, DIOSDADO JR BONDE
68 QUIBA, CAROLYN CRUZ
69 QUIBA, MENDELSON POLANTE
70 QUINDOR, JUDYLYNN IGUBAN
71 RIMANDO, KAREN ORTIGUERO
72 ROGEL, ELNA MARTIN
73 ROSAL, MANOL TABLADA
74 SALDA, JESHANAH BASALONG
75 SARABIA, JOSELITO SAÑADA
76 SINDOL, ANNIE EVE DAVID
77 STA ANA, OLIVER BALTAZAR
78 TIMBOL, MA NANETTE CRUZ
79 TOLEDO, CAROL MADLANGSAKAY
80 TRAGICO, GIFT DEL CARMEN
81 TRIGUERO, JANICE PUNZALAN
82 VILLAREAL, RITA LORENZO
83 VILLON, ALEXANDRA WANDA LOMOD
84 YAMZON, MAY DAVID
CONGRATULATIONS to all of us who made History in the field of GUIDANCE and COUNSELING here in the Philippines!!! |
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| Posted: Sep.02.2008 @ 6:27 pm |
LET Exam Results for April 2008, Secondary Level
Roll of Successful Examinees in the
L.E.T. - SECONDARY - All Regions
Held on APRIL 6, 2008
Released on APRIL 30, 2008
Page: 39 of 76
Seq. No. N a m e
1851 JOSE, JOANNE PAGLIAWAN
1852 JOSEF, FLORDECILA ABORDO
1853 JOSUE, MARY JOCELYN BALANGUE
1854 JOVEN, JIECEBEL BELEÑA
1855 JOVENAL, LUDY BAGINDA
1856 JOYOHOY, HAZEL MAGLINTE
1857 JUABAN, LOURDES LUPIBA
1858 JUAÑO, LEAH TAGUMPAY
1859 JUBASAN, LAILE REAN ACEBUCHE
1860 JUDAN, RONALD FERNANDEZ
1861 JUEVES, IRENE BANAC
1862 JULIAN, ADORA PACTOL
1863 JULWAHID, ALDING BALADJI
1864 JUMAO-AS, CHARITO GARCIA
1865 JUMAO-AS, DOMINADOR APARILLA
1866 JUMAQUIO, MICHAEL DELA CRUZ
867 JUMAWAN, APRIL ALEGRIA
1868 JUMAWAN, KAREN MAE OCUM
1869 JUNIO, ROEN MORADOS
1870 JUNTILLA, ANALYN BOOC
1871 JUNTILLA, JOAN MANSUETO
1872 JUNTO, ROCELIO GALIMBA
1873 JUSTINIANI, JEHN PILAPIL
1874 JUSTO, ROMEL OCARIS
1875 JUSTOBA, YURI COPINGCO
1876 JUTBA, KRISTINE AUSEJO
1877 JUTIC, MARY ROSE BARRACA |
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| Posted: Aug.30.2008 @ 9:51 am | Lasted edited: Aug.31.2008 @ 3:27 am |
This is my first entry after daring to make a step forward. And today marks the 7th day after the first ever licensure exam for Guidance and Counseling in the Philippines.
Seven long days of anxiety for the 160 of us who dared to make history… our 7th day suffering the “Luker fever”.
The two-day board exam started last August 21, 2008 held at Manuel L. Quezon University, Quiapo, Manila. The experience of just being in the busy streets of Quiapo, passing by the miraculous church where several old ladies unconsciencely sell “pamparegla” (instigate menstruation) roots soaked in whatever liquid that was and goon-looking men hiding themselves behind innocent-looking children waiting for prey was already an ordeal for me to go through. What more would answering 675 items with just a ten-year experience in the field to equip me bring out in me? Oooooohhhhh… the “Luker fever” I guess!
You bet I had the most… I mean, one of the most significant experiences in my thirty years of existence (Yeah! Yeah… I’m thirty years old. Not so young anymore!) during the board exam – it’s being introduced to “Luker” for the first time. And what a heck of an experience!
Have you been subjected to an overwhelming embarrassment all your life?
Oh well, in my case, the only consolation for my embarrassment was… errrr… so far, that is, was that my level of embarrassment wasn’t known to others.
Right that you are! I was caught off guard when I encountered “Luker” and his/her theory encapsulated in almost 10% of the questions in that milestone called “board examination”!
In my previous blog, I mentioned with pride that I have used eclectic counseling for almost ten years now. There are my favorite Person-Centered Approach by Rogers and Existential Theory by May and Frankl and several others. There is also the all-time controversial Psychosexual Orientation by Freud and his famous libido concept; Erikson’s Psychosocial Development; Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs; Piaget’s Cognitive Development; Developmental Tasks by Havighurst; the Behaviorist perspective by Pavlov, Skinner and Bandura; Williamson’s Trait-Factor Counseling; Transactional Analysis by Berne; Glasser’s Reality Therapy; REBT by Ellis; Psychosocial Learning by Krumboltz; and a dozen more like Super, Parsons, Roe, Gottfredson, Dawis, Holland, Brown, Young, Mitchelle, Gysbers, Ginzburg and Ginsberg for career pathing. But “LUKER”???
Oh “Luker”! Don’t even know if he is a he or she is a she!!!
Haven’t really met him/her even by-passingly in any psychology-related or guidance and counseling book… more so of his/her theory and developmental stages in counseling.
So how did I answer the almost 10% question?
Easy meat!
I used a bit of common sense.
Spiced with my analytic persona.
And then 99% of “ini-mini-my-ni-moh” stuff!
Sure that’s neat for someone who would like to make history, eh!
But I’m sure as heaven could witness, I am experiencing the “Luker fever” up to this very moment!
Maybe the only way to lower the tension is the board exam result to be posted -- the “gate-keeping” perspective -- either opening some fresh and new heights for me or ending my Guidance and Counseling career.
Duh! Anyway I already have my Special Ed license, it won’t matter much anyway!
(sob-sob-sic-sic)
Hey, I’m not sour-graping!
Just being realistic anyhow.
But to anyone who happen to pass by my site and read this entry, hope you’ll bridge the gap between me and LUKER!!! |
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| Posted: Aug.30.2008 @ 9:49 am |
Career development involves one’s whole life, not just occupation. As such, it concerns the whole person… More than that, it concerns him or her in the ever-changing contexts of his or her life. The environmental pressures and constraints, the bonds that tie him or her to significant others, responsibilities to children and aging parents, the total structure of one’s circumstances are also factors that must be understood and reckoned with. In these terms, career development and personal development converge. Self and circumstances – evolving, changing, unfolding in mutual interaction – constitute the focus and the drama of career development (Wolfe & Kolb, 1980, pp. 1-2).
“Working lives” and “working histories” – two powerful words, shaping and re-shaping who we are.
This week, will mark another milestone in my life. Career pathing. Life pathing.
After passing the Licensure Exam for Teachers last April with a whooping 84% equivalent to a two-week self-review, I have accepted another challenge – professionally that is. I mean… I have chosen to take a rather courageous step in conquering another licensure examination – the first ever Licensure Exam for Guidance Counselors in the Philippines.
But the pressure is stronger this time. At least when I took the LET then, I had an excuse of not passing. I can easily say even in a bitchy way, “Oh well, I only had my Education units via the Open University System. Modules didn’t teach me well. And I only had a two-week review in my self-contained asylum.” Isn’t that neat?
Yeah! This time is different. B.S. Psychology is my undergraduate degree. I earned my Master’s Degree in Guidance and Counseling in 2006 from an accredited state university. Guidance and Counseling is my career for ten years now.
I have been practicing eclectic counseling as far as I can remember. Maybe I have mastered the use of REBT and script analysis throughout my practice. I can recite with ease the counseling techniques from cognitive to affective to behavioral domains. Theories? I know them by heart including the theorists. Though Rogers and Frankl are my favorites.
An update? There is the Neurolinguistic Programming. The pioneer in the Philippines is Dr. Imelda Villar. And luckily, I have a copy of all her books.
I have slept over making a module in group process. Consensus theory. Conflict theory. T-groups. I even tried combining my knowledge in Adjunctive Therapeutic Techniques with Group Dynamics. And it works.
I do career counseling every now and then. I can draw with clarity Super’s and Krumboltz’s and Ginzberg’s and Peterson’s career guidance models. Thanks to Parsons who started it all.
Starting January through December, I deal with more than a dozen psychological tests -- from the simple SLU-Verbal and Nonverbal Intelligence Tests to the somewhat complicated Otis-Lennon School Ability Test and Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale; from the easily interpreted Emotions Profile Index to the 16 Personality Factors Test to a seemingly difficult to interpret Adjustment Scales for Children and Adolescents. Item Analysis. Norming. I go over the process year after year after year.
And of course, with the Guidance Program, all these are possible. Ah! The board exam includes the development, administration and maintenance and evaluation of a Guidance Program. What can I say? I just submitted today the final form of our TSDP Challenge or the Tri-lineal Strategic Developmental Plan Challenge. That makes the program developmental in nature.
But my! The pressure is on me. If I fail…
Yeah! If I fail…
Can’t fill-in the blank this time.
But honestly, whether I fail or hit the 75% passing rate, I shall treat myself for accepting the challenge – the challenge of partaking in a milestone in Guidance and Counseling history in the Philippines.
Imagine, even if I fail, at least I can say that I was the first “guinea pig” who failed in the board exam! Nice, eh!!!
But I hope and pray (and hope you’d pray with me and for me, too) that the good Lord shall open my long-term memory bank so I can pick out the correct data from my compartmentalized brain.
This is my career.
This is my choice.
I decided to be here.
Myself. The integration of my personality and society – past experiences, present and future motivations made all these possible.
This is my life.
I am “I”. |
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| Posted: Jul.05.2008 @ 12:38 am |
"Mass tomorrow?"
"Can I not just stay in my office to do all the checking of this pile of IQ tests?"
"The kids want to know their scores ASAP. They're around the office every hour from last Thursday when the test was given to them and they're driving me nuts!"
Once again, I mumbled a few more lines. Hoping my wish will be granted.
The following day -- which is today. I arrived late in school. 5 minutes late. My 2nd time of being late this week.
"Aaarghhh!"
"Beating the deadline and yet I am always late."
"Hell! They can't blame me. I am supposed to go home at 4:30 pm but I work my butt out until 6:00 pm."
"I am supposed to be reviewing for the board exam for Counselors this August and finishing my thesis but I bring home a bunch of paperworks for the school's accreditation."
"Duh! I am supposed to be out of here but I chose not to."
All these ran through my mind in a second.
"So you think that gave you all the right to be late and not attend the first Friday mass?" whispered the better side of me.
"Geeeezzzz!"
I was flapping through my ears to drive away the little voices making a good argument in defense of my almost splitting personality, when a student bumped through me...
"Ooooppsss, sorry!"
"That was it? That was all you can say? I am in a hurry with all my worries and sorry is all you can say?"
I thought I was shouting, but I was just staring blank at the kid. Then I gathered myself.
I head on...
"C'mon, Fr. Pati is saying the mass."
Upon hearing the priest's name, I just dumped my bag inside my drawer, combed my hair a bit, checked on my gloss, got my fan and went with the flow of people to the school's covered court where mass is celebrated.
And so the sermon goes...
It was like being transported to that event when I was deciding for my future -- my family's future.
Fr. Pati concluded, "...so to you elected leaders, not just be leaders, be servant leaders and responsible stewards of creation. To the administrators, the teachers, the non-teaching personnel and you dear students, as you re-affirm your commitment of being co-creators of God, let your heart be where the greater need you most."
"Like the little prince taming the fox, anything you tame, is your responsibility. Anything that grows familiar to you is your responsibility..." his words echoing -- travelling through my ear's canal to the message center of my brain, striking the chambers of my heart.
I did not stay for money. I did not stay for comfort. I did not stay for fear of the unknown. I decided to stay because this is where my heart is -- the place where I know the greater need me most.
I decided to stay because I have tamed the world of guidance and counseling to work best for my benefit and the people I work with and the children I work for.
I decided to stay because I have grown familiar with the colorful, yet mysterious world of children with special needs.
Yes, I stayed because one girl was crying in my cubicle last week. She said her mother have grown further away from her.
I stayed because another teenager fell in love and she is so confused with how she feels. Will she give in or not?
I stayed, yet for another girl who sobbed over her sentiments -- telling me her parents don't notice her efforts in dancing and just wanted to sleep and never to wake up.
I stayed because a young man needs me this year to listen to him while his soul is dying -- his very own parents as the criminal.
I decided to stay for a sixteen year old child with autism, who with all the wealth in the world needs an eye to watch over him when he sleeps.
I decided to stay for a nine year old girl who doesn't care how she looks like and reads the alphabet backwards.
I decided to stay for an eight year old boy with ADHD who feels so frustrated he wants to cut his fingers that they stop fidgeting altogether.
I committed myself to stay because I have tamed them. They have grown familiar with my voice, my touch, my scent and even with that little strictness in my aura.
I have accepted the challenge.
I have accepted them.
THEY ARE MY RESPONSIBILITY!
“Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, covering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks. But what we do for them is never wasted.”
Garrison, Keillor, 2000
This was my opening phrase in my acknowledgement page in my thesis... and so I live with it. |
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| Posted: Jul.05.2008 @ 12:33 am |
 It was then that the fox appeared.
"Good morning" said the fox.
"Good morning" the little prince responded politely, although when he turned around he saw nothing.
"I am right here" the voice said, "under the apple tree."
"Who are you?" asked the little prince, and added, "You are very pretty to look at."
"I am a fox," the fox said.
"Come and play with me," proposed the little prince, "I am so unhappy."
"I cannot play with you," the fox said, "I am not tamed."
"Ah please excuse me," said the little prince. But after some thought, he added: "What does that mean--'tame'?"
"You do not live here," said the fox.
"What is it you are looking for?"
"I am looking for men," said the little prince.
"What does that mean--tame?"
"Men," said the fox, "they have guns, and they hunt. It is very disturbing. They also raise chickens. These are their only interests. Are you looking for chickens?"
"No," said the little prince. "I am looking for friends. What does that mean--tame?"
"It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. "It means to establish ties."
"To establish ties?"
"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world . . ."
"I am beginning to understand," said the little prince. "There is a flower . . . I think she has tamed me . . . "
"It is possible," said the fox. "On earth one sees all sorts of things."
"Oh, but this is not on the earth!" said the little prince.
The fox seemed perplexed, and very curious. "On another planet?"
"Yes."
"Are there hunters on that planet?"
"No."
"Ah, that is interesting! Are there chickens?"
"No."
"Nothing is perfect," sighed the fox. But he came back to his idea. "My life is very monotonous," he said. "I hunt chickens; men hunt me. All chickens are just alike, and all the men are just alike. And in consequence, I am a little bored. But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat . . . "
The fox gazed at the little prince, for a long time. "Please--tame me!" he said.
"I want to, very much," the little prince replied. "But I have not much time. I have friends to discover, and a great many things to understand."
"One only understands the things that one tames," said the fox. "Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. If you want a friend, tame me . . . "
"What must I do, to tame you?” asked the little prince.
"You must be very patient," replied the fox. First you will sit down at a little distance from me--like that--in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day . . . "
The next day the little prince came back.
"It would have been better to come back at the same hour," said the fox. "If for example, you came at four o'clock in the afternoon, then at three o'clock I shall begin to be happy. I shall feel happier and happier as the hour advances. At four o'clock, I shall be worrying and jumping about. I shall show you how happy I am! But if you come at just any time, I shall never know at what hour my heart is ready to greet you . . . One must observe the proper rites . . . "
"What is a rite?" asked the little prince.
"Those also are actions too often neglected," said the fox. "They are what make one day different from other days, one hour different from other hours. There is a rite, for example, among my hunters. Every Thursday they dance with the village girls. So Thursday is a wonderful day for me! I can take a walk as far as the vineyards. But if the hunters danced at just any time, every day would be like every other day, and I should never have any vacation at all."
So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near--
"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry."
"It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you . . . "
"Yes, that is so," said the fox.
"But now you are going to cry!" said the little prince.
"Yes, that is so," said the fox.
"Then it has done you no good at all!"
"It has done me good," said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields." And then he added: "Go and look again at the roses. You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world. Then come back to say goodbye to me, and I will make you a present of a secret."
The little prince went away, to look again at the roses.
"You are not at all like my rose," he said. "As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made a friend, and now he is unique in all the world."
And the roses were very much embarrassed.
"You are beautiful, but you are empty," he went on. "One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose."
And he went back to meet the fox. "Goodbye," he said. "Goodbye," said the fox. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.
"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.
"It is the time I have wasted for my rose---" said the little prince so he would be sure to remember.
"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose . . . "
"I am responsible for my rose," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.
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| Posted: Mar.26.2008 @ 5:31 pm |
Alumni Homecoming.
Twenty years. Quite long. But it seems it was only yesterday when I last set foot on this same ground in my high school quadrangle.
Mixed emotions. I felt my tummy filled with butterflies. Bringing nausea to my senses. My heart is beating fast. So fast that it seems I will break into tears.
"Haaahh! Twenty years. Would my classmates still know me? Maybe. I have a couple of friends I still communicate with even right after graduation. But the rest, would they recognize me?"
"What changes have I been to? Just the humungous butt, more fats under my belly, in my arms and legs, and some unwanted wrinkles."
I became more hesitant.
"Argh! I have grown fatter."
I wasn't sexy then. The more that I am not now. I wasn't extra-ordinarily pretty then. The more that I am not now. I wasn't that intelligent then. Just an average girl. What now?
I asked myself, "What are my achievements so far after twenty years?"
"Not much. I mean, none so far I can really be proud of."
I started backing out. Not walking. I am more like running. Then I bumped into someone. I almost fell to the ground with my heavy torso.
"Maria! Maria, is that you?"
"Hhmmm… not bad. Somebody recognized me. But was that an interrogative statement I heard?"
"Myra. Yes, it's me. How do you do?"
"I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm in the advertising. I usually come out in commercials for shampoos, bags and garments. Oh well, the undergarments. You?"
There was an emphasis. I looked at her towering beauty. I closed my eyes before I can say a word.
"I'm a preschool teacher."
That's it! I blew it off! I didn't sound impressive. The more that I didn't look impressive with my jeans and plain white shirt. No accessory. Just powder and lip gloss.
"Come on. Let's get inside. The rest are there waiting for us. I heard there's Bless from Canada, Delia from Dubai, Glenda from London, Roa from Denmark and Tina from California (blah-blah-blah!!!). And guess who I saw early this afternoon?"
I didn't want to guess who she was referring to. In my heart, I knew who he is. And in my heart, though I prayed for this moment to come, I wish that I just burst like a bubble and be gone.
Myra noticed my silence. She didn't pursue the topic. Instead she pulled me back to where the crowd was and like in the movies, in slow motion, I was there in the middle of all the classmates I journeyed with in my four years in high school.
"So this is the feeling of going back." I thought to myself.
There were the people Myra mentioned. Some are still dark-skinned. Others fairer than before. One of them said she is a cosmetic endorser. The other giggled off, "I almost stay in the spa. Scrubbing off every dead skin cell in my body. Quite expensive though. But it's fine with my British boyfriend."
I laughed with them. But with jarred pent-up emotion I cannot name.
Some I noticed have yellow gold all over them. Not just one in both ears. They have several in the neck, in their wrists and in their ankles. For some, they look as plain as I am though more sophisticated.
"Nah!" shoved off by that little voice inside me. "They only look more confident. Try leveling your chin to your shoulders. Sit, not slouch. Smile more often. Look at them in the eye when you talk or when you listen to what they are saying."
I did.
After some time, I became more comfortable. I stopped comparing myself to the rest of the group. My laugh grew more genuine now. I'm starting to enjoy myself.
Our conversations went on. Stories of men in engineering and architecture. Snippets of women's struggles in a men-dominated area. Tessa was one of them. Very inspiring.
Then came cars they own. House and lots in various points in the archipelago and outside it. Investments here and there. Stock market. Economics. Politics. Commerce. Fashion. Toners. Eye-shadows. Bags. Perfumes. Movies. Local and Hollywood stars. Name it, we have discussed them all. An hour. Two. Three.
Dinner was about to be served.
Our tête-á-tête seem not to reach an end. And just when I thought I am almost gaining confidence, I saw those pair of deep-set eyes. Same pair that melt my heart. Same pair that broke my heart into bits and bits of pieces. I wanted to look away. But they have their own lure that makes it difficult for me to do so.
He was looking to. Staring intensely. Seem not aware that he was with someone. His wife.
I looked down my feet. I noticed my fingers fidgeting and felt my toes as cold as ice. I felt ashamed. So awkward.
"Hi!" was his short greeting. Same voice I fell in love with.
Then I was transported twenty-three years ago along that small street to Bless's place.
"I will be coming tomorrow whether you invite me to your birthday or not. I don't care. My brothers already left for Manila. I asked them that I stay because I want to be with you on your special day."
I felt so happy. But I didn't say a word.
"I'll bring you home."
Inside the tricycle we were so close I can feel his deep breathing and his heart beat… seems heaven to me. But I didn't say a word.
"Hope you liked my gift. It's not as expensive as the stuff toy you received from Eman but hope you appreciate it."
I smiled. I told myself, "I will forever carry it with me." But I didn't say a word.
"Care for another room in your umbrella?" was the chant of almost wet youngsters in the school shed.
I looked up my room. I saw my class adviser by the porch from whom I have promised to strive harder in the academics.
"No boys!" she said early that morning.
"No boys!" I repeated.
Then I walked passed him. Not saying a word.
"I would rather hurt myself, than to ever make you cry. There's nothing left to say, though it's gonna hurt us both. There's no other way, but to say goodbye."… goes their song.
I head on without looking at his direction. Not saying a word.
"Do you love him?" was John's question. "He's waiting for you. He needs you. His mother is not well."
I went on arranging the flowers for the recognition. I didn't say a word.
"He's with someone now." John confirmed.
I just stared. Moved away with tears welling from my eyes. I didn't say a word.
"Maria," Bless's calling my name brought me back to reality. "Miss Si wants to see you."
I excused myself. Thankful a bit. At least I have time to think and decide whether I leave the place or stay and hurt myself even more.
After a light talk with my then adviser-mentor turned colleague, I opted to just go home and call it a night.
I passed through the darker alley at the back gate where I usually pass through every time I escape from scrutinizing gaze way back in high school. My mind went back to its natural flow of recollection.
This was the alley that witnessed my tears when I learned he was with someone. I sat near the plants. I even pulled some. All my frustration, my anger and my depression poured into the innocent plants.
Then I heard footsteps. I turned around. I saw his penetrating eyes overpowering me – the little confidence that I have.
Was that pain? I wasn't sure.
Was that hatred? I'm not certain.
Was that love I see in his eyes?
"You have really mastered the art of escaping."
I just stared back. I wanted to capture that love in his eyes. I wanted to say something. But at the last minute, I decided to keep my silence. Then I walked away.
If it was impossible then, the more that it is now.
Yesteryears, I should have said something, but I did not. That, I know is my greatest mistake.
But now, if I said what I should have said, I will not just destroy my life but cause so much pain to innocent people I care and love.
I smiled to myself. A bitter smile.
Then tears welled off my eyes.
Tears that ended a love story that never was.
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| Posted: Mar.18.2008 @ 9:48 am |
 I arrived late in school this morning. While in the bus, I was contemplating I could conduct a follow-up interview to complete the Student’s Individual Inventory Form. But to my dismay, in addition to my being late, I forgot that today is still an exam day and the students will only be in school in the morning. So there is really no chance for me to catch them in their sleeves and ask them how much their parents earn annually or who their single parents are dating at the moment.
And like the previous frustrating events, the only thing that can bring me back from my topsy-turvy disposition is to read a book. Lucky for me, I left my current Coelho read under my pillow, so I dashed through the school library and forced Amy (the school librarian and my bestfriend) to lend me a book even when there are strict orders that this week should be “RETURNING OF BORROWED BOOKS. NO BORROWING OF BOOKS FOR INVENTORY AND CLEARANCE.” both for students and school personnel. Anyway, I promised her to return the book this afternoon (even without her permission).
I browsed through the NEW ARRIVALS SECTION of the library and saw this intriguing title: SIX THINKING HATS by EDWARD DE BONO. It says in the subtitle: THE INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER that has changed the way the world’s most successful business leaders think.
My initial reaction was, “Well I’m not into business so why care to read this book.”
But after browsing through all the books, nothing caught my bookworm’s intuition of the best possible read for my present emotional condition. So I went back to the HATS stuff and picked it out of its shelf. Amy was shouting over my shoulders when she saw me leaving the Borrower’s Card on top of her desk despite her plea that I am not allowed to borrow a book.
“Oh well,” I told myself, “I’d rather run away with this book than spend the rest of my day grumbling over a messed-up schedule.”
Upon arrival in my office, the intercom was ringing like hell. Assumed that I might not answer the phone, Amy turned on the speaker phone and was yelling at me to return the book. I told her what I had in mind while running away with the book and as expected, my good friend lent me the HATS stuff but she asked me to swear to return the book before I go home this afternoon. And so I did with all my heart.
Flip-flapping through the book, just reading the summary for each color symbol, I finished the HATS stuff in 3o minutes. These are what I can share to you based from the book:
The Six Thinking Hats method capitalizes that THINKING is the ultimate human resource. But most of us, even the most successful people are left unsatisfied with their most important skill. No matter what we have achieved, it seems we can never get enough of the world. We want to be better.
And let me just quote:
Usually, the only people who are very satisfied with their thinking skill are those poor thinkers who believe that the purpose of thinking is to prove yourself right – to your own satisfaction.
The main difficulty of thinking is confusion .We try to do too much at once. Emotions, information, logic, hope and creativity all crowd in on us. It is like juggling with too many balls.
Argh! Got me on that!
Now what do the SIX HATS of different colors symbolize:
WHITE HAT:
Think of paper. Think of a computer printout. The white hat is about information. When the white hat is in use, everyone focuses directly and exclusively on information. It stands for facts and figures. It is for truth and philosophers.
RED HAT:
Think of fire. Think of warmth. Think of feelings. Using the red hat gives you an opportunity to express feelings, emotions and intuition without any need to explain or justify them.
BLACK HAT:
This is the most used of all the hats. The black hat is perhaps the most important hat. The black hat is the hat of caution. It is for being careful. The black hat stops us doing things that are illegal, dangerous, unprofitable, polluting and so on. It focuses on content and process. It is the past and the future.
YELLOW HAT:
Think of sunshine. Think of optimism. Under the yellow hat a thinker deliberately sets out to find whatever benefit there may be in a suggestion. Under the yellow hat, the thinker tries to see how it may be possible to put the idea into practice. It also stands for speculative-positive thinking strategies. It encompasses the positive spectrum of circumstances and of ideas. The yellow hat is also supported by reason and logic. It is for constructive thinking. Thus, it is in relation to creativity.
GREEN HAT:
The green hat is the energy hat. Think of vegetation. Think of growth. Think of new leaves and branches. The green hat is the ultimate creative hat. It is the lateral thinking of the brain. It focuses on movement instead of judgment. There is a need for provocation to encourage more alternatives. The green hat’s major emphasis is on personality and skill.
BLUE HAT:
Think of the blue sky above. Think of “overview”. The blue hat is for thinking about thinking. (Whatever that means!) The blue hat is like the conductor of the orchestra. The conductor gets the best out of the orchestra by seeing that what should be done is done at the right time. The blue hat is like the ringmaster of a circus. The blue hat is for the management of thinking. The blue hat is for the organization of thinking. It is for process control. It gives us the focus. It provides the program design of our brain. It speaks about summaries and conclusions, control and monitoring.
After reading the summary pages, I said to myself (hope I really did), “This is a good read for my day’s drama.”
But I want to make an add to the colors of the thinking hats. May I say we also need an:
ORANGE HAT:
Think about crunchy autumn leaves (well, we don’t have autumn in the Philippines, but there are a good fields with dried leaves) under your bare soles while you are running out in the open with friends and other people. It replenishes the spirit. The orange hat emphasizes on play. It focuses on relaxation. When the mind is set out for thinking alone – an all work without play thing, sanity would not stand for long. The orange hat also symbolizes hope that after every fall, comes the spring.
So may I then suggest that after a long day of work, stop thinking for a while. Act on impulse. Do whatever you wish to do. Say what you have to say. Speak spontaneously. (As long as you would not be hurting yourself and others.) Like when I ran away with the book without thinking about the rules. If I didn’t do so, perhaps I would end this day without a blog entry.
What do you think?
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| Posted: Mar.15.2008 @ 5:16 pm | Lasted edited: Mar.15.2008 @ 3:41 am |
I always complain for having the lack of time in doing the things I want to do, especially reading my favorite books. Most of my books are still on my shelf, with plastic cover and sealed with its tag on it. Those in the open are gathering dust each day. But some lucky ones are picked from the shelf once in a while and read inside the bus on my way to work and again inside the bus in the evening on my way home.
But pondering on that, I think my whining is unreasonable, because last night, while dusting my shelves, I saw only five books left unread out of the dozen books or so I bought and the Coelho's my brother bought starting last September. So I don't need to whine over not having the luxury of time. In fact, I have all the time in the world.
 Now this is the picture of a watch I saw from an e-shop that I intend to buy as treat for myself for having kept myself busy yet gave myself much time to do what I really wanted to do -- reading books, studying and of course, bonding with my kids and family and friends. Hope I will be able to buy this before the year ends.
I realized that I don't need an add of another twenty-four hours in a day just to do what we want to do. If our heart is into finishing a task, we can find time, no matter how busy we assume we are. To include from my list of "have done", so far this is what I can think of:
1. I have finished three allied courses in four years time (one of which is my MA in Guidance and Counseling -- bagging the "Best Thesis" citation), including my MA in Special Education which I intend to finish until next year.
2. How did I do it? a. I review for my exams inside the bus (it really helped plus my eyeglasses on).
b. I do my homeworks while eating my snacks and lunch at work.
c. I do my reports, my thesis included at eleven in the evening onwards, when my kids are sleeping and my dogs are snoring.
d. Finishing my thesis was tough, but I managed to squeeze it in by designing a program for my school (my place of work) as output, so the administrators welcomed my study with open arms.
3. I was able to counsel 100% of the kids under my care with follow-up to those who needed extra help. With this is the Career Pathing Program and the Developmental Program for children of OFW parent/s.
4. I made friends here and there. Re-discovered some like with that of Maricel, Tatah and Issa. I strengthened my bonds with most. And just an add, I have three batch of new-found friends -- my Special Ed class (Education for Deviates) with Miss Naoe, my Geometry class of seven with Dr. Gacayan and the CHED scholars in my Graph Theory class with Dr. Quiambao.
5. I maintained my being a Special Ed teacher after my counseling hours with Rob. Now, he is about to finish his third year in high school. One school year more and he is to graduate from senior high. Not to mention I started with him when he was in pre-school.
6. And most importantly, I was able to raise Beatrice with quantity and quality time. She is now five, will be recognized as first in her Kinder class at the end of this month. And of course, I gave birth to another girl, Gabrielle while finishing my thesis. Now she is one and a smart kid like her sister.
7. And in between, I am a wife to my Ronald for almost eight years now. I'm keeping my fingers crossed though as I'm writing this post that I have been able to provide him the warmth of love a wife could give her husband.
8. To give it a final touch, I am also a sister to my brother Jomar and to my siblings-in-law, a daughter to my mom-in-law, a grand-daughter to my grannies, and last but not the least, a child of God, my Creator, giving meaning to the life He has bestowed upon me; so that in the final bend of my TIME, He shall be proud of me. Visit my blogsites more often: www.marjo-lifeinamirror.blogspot.com and www.blogtext.org/CABAnata
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