I was about to give up in giving my blogsite a taint of interaction because it has been a week since I posted an entry about HAPPINESS and I received no comment or message whatsoever from my readers (a few good souls). But before closing my doors to such thought, a friend e-mailed me with a three page confession about her encounter with Happiness. I have summarized her info (with her permission of course) and chose to spice it with some laughable stuff and sprinkled a bit of saucy side-comments – pun intended, to make our learning with life lighter and juicier. Whoa! Actually, she rolled off her chair laughing at her silliness after she read this entry (she edited the names of the guys in respect to them even those bastards deserve not a pint of such). I hope too, that you'll like this as much as my friend did. And so I write: Six Men and a Lady.

It was June of 1991 when Aurora (of course, this isn't my friend's real name, I'll protect her identity too, baka sugurin siya ng mga diyaskeng lalaking naka-ulayaw niya – her term) felt the fangs of the so called love bit her innocence and squeezed her sanity and be fooled by this cute angel-looking guy her age. Renato (of course, this isn't the guy's real name, too) didn't know Aurora loved him from a distance, though she would initiate brief conversations to attract his attention. But sad to say, Aurora was plain-looking that time and not a single guy could take to even just look at her with all her pimplets (small pimples, not actually pimples, but some sort of a skin disease she managed to have acquired from her ancestors, so she claims) and display some kind of affection or even wanting to be her friend.

Poor Aurora, she just contented herself loving Renato at a distance. One day, the guy seemed to have noticed the lass' intellectual prowess that he, for the first time, talked to her… really talked to her. So they say, too, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." We may call it magic (to me I thought of it as witchcraft), that Renato started wooing Aurora. He followed her everywhere. Attended parties with her. Gimmicked with her and her girl-friends. Until he disclosed his undying love for her. Promised her everything under the sun including every single entity in the heavens and the galaxies.

Indeed poor Aurora, she believed the sweet lies of Renato. She gave her the kind of love she thought she is not capable of sharing with someone other than her parents. She was happy. Very, very happy. Almost felt bliss. Ecstasy. Her moments with her seemed to last a lifetime. But it didn't. A trivial incident, so she thought, ended her happiness with Renato. An act of concern to another ended the happiness she has encountered with Renato. He left without hearing an explanation or asking her for a line or two. The next instant she knew, he was with somebody else. The promises? They are now all part of the heavens and the galaxies Aurora said, that which she can never reach in this life. And I add: Sana nagpatiwakal ka na lang para nakarating ka sa heavens and galaxies na promise ni Papa one sa iyo. (Kung doon nga ang patutunguhan mo!)

Then I asked: After sixteen years, what do you feel for him?

Aurora answered: Stupid guy! She fooled the wrong woman.

I retorted: But you believed his promises?

Her answer: Of course not! The stars he must have mentioned he would give me might be the craters (meteors) he saw all over my face when he once stared at me blankly under the acacia tree. I'm intelligent you know! I can read whether the guy loves me or just playing off with me.

So I asked back: Then why did you engage in a mutual understanding with him?

She snapped: Just for experience! His promises? Well, it hardened like kidney stones in my memory…

And so I concluded: Let's call Guy number 1, Renato – Promisecalises.

Happiness… when it left, it became her source of sorrow, she must admit.

But life must go on. She met Guy number 2, Diomedes – Dedmatolagious.

Why so? Guess you have to read on. But I think you don't need an ounce of gray matter to presume.

Well hell! The guy needs some bludgeoning. Aurora took her (again) for experience. Funny though, she fell in love with the guy without her noticing it. She just woke up one day, ready to take the kamikaze drive and plunge herself in the pits of no return which she again called love.

Aurora reminisced in her letter that the Pontius Pilate was a real funny guy and she found comfort in his laughter.

I replied angrily (somehow): So laughter can allure women like you to get into a relationship when in the first and second place you knew you weren't (aren't) compatible (well, so I concluded because of the difference in their mental abilities)!?

She answered with equal intensity: Yup! Aren't you?

(God! I feel guilty some ways because I was one of those trusted friends of Aurora who took the initiative to get the guy's leg going. I mean, nanulsol para ligawan siya. Promise! I didn't know the guy was dumb as hell! A girl-friend just said he got a "0" in Philo class. Argh! And it was too late then. Forgive me Aurora! But I have seen her happiness (quite a pull) with Diomedes. The name I chose really stinks, eh!)

At this extent, Aurora claimed: If only I were near you, Maria, I can squeeze your veins off your flabby neck!

I said: Back off girl! My flabs are quite an investment. They attract Virgin Coconut Oil buyers dahil naubusan na ng coconut sa buong Pilipinas sa dami ng gustong mag-invest sa fad na ito. Kaya ayos na ang Cocobutt Oil! Jeeerrsss!

To cut the short story shorter, Aurora broke up with him when one day, she requested to fix her comforter carelessly spread through her bed.

"Why? What the hell can that instigate?", you may ask.

Because my readers, Diomedes, a.k.a. Dedmatolagious is like a living dead walking around town without his brains dictating some logic and a bit of knowledge and common sense. What he did? (Suspense ba?) He got the whole computer unit all fixed on top of Aurora's bed and exclaimed proudly, "I carried with me too the mouse and the keyboard, Sweetheart. Aren't you thankful?"

Diddums!

Believe me, he did that.

If you don't. Well, I'm not in the position to force you to.          

And so Guy number 3 came into the picture. Too late than Aurora could have wished he would have. We decided to name him nothing because in essence, he was almost nothing (so she thought, again… and again… and again… na parang ako na rin). Kasi naman po itong si Romualdo ay walang bay--! Namputsa! Aurora almost bared herself infront of him and he only said one word, "Ginaw!"

Di ka man mabato, aba'y nagbalot-balot na si Mareng Auring sabay talikod kay Romualdo na kung gaano ka-masculine ang kanyang appeal lalo ang pangalan ay siya namang tiyope ni kulukoy.

Life is a big joke. Really it is! When Aurora was no longer entertaining in her thoughts the image of Romualdo that was when he called her up. She was surprised to receive his call after almost four years. And she felt sheer excitement, too. She thought that maybe, Romualdo has matured a bit and gained some confidence (guts) to eventually ask her out for some cup of coffee. After a few minutes of chit-chat, the line went blank. Some whooshy-whishy sound at first then went dead. She waited for a couple of minutes. Then an hour. Then a day. A week. A month. Until a year. And ultimately, she resigned to the hope that he is still interested with her.

Time flowed like living water, finding some place to rest for some moments and in due time would rush through the sea and join with the gyration of the waves.

That happened with Aurora. Like a living water, she purified herself immensely, have grown more beautiful (so she claimed after she spent some million in leveling the craters on her face and pouring some acid all over her body to make it white as snow… ugh!). And after almost nine years, she saw him climb the bus she was into. Their eyes met. Some spark aglow. He passed through her. Brushed his warm skin daintily against hers. Then he spoke, "Hi!"

My reaction: THAT WAS IT? After so many years, that was all he had to say? After having kept you waiting, that was all he said? By golly! That jerk!!!

I sensed some tremble in Aurora's voice on the other line. There were no letters appearing on my screen, too. She went blank.

And I don't think I can go on with my story just yet because our editing ended with Guy number 3. Hope you understand. The girl needs some time to think it over. And I guess, Romualdo still has a part in my friend's heart.

What do you think?

And hey, before I forget. I guess by now you could assume (as safe as one could) why we called Romualdo nothing.

Hell yes! The guy says NOTHING!!!!

I'm a bit surprised to see myself infront of the mirror looking so awfully tired while packing my things at five today. The whole day was such a blur that I went on my counseling routine as I was chewing a gum. Kids can be soooooo squeezingly delicious sometimes. Teens? They have achieved my level of tolerance. Er... well, almost there. You see, when you're a counselor, you can't just yell even your damn client is pushing you to your let's say peak of no return... I mean anger spurts. But hey, I'm good at hiding my real emotions behind my tweetums-diddums smile that paints "I fully understand you, kid!"

Geeezzzzz!!! Patience-patience... P-A-T-I-E-N-C-E!!! My virtue? Hope it is. Because when work gets in you and being tired eats your system to bits, home is not a home but just some cheap motel to rest your body.

But to me, when I get my hands turn the knob to my home, I smell cinnamon rolls calming my senses. Bea hugs me and kisses me and massages my feet while Gaby turns over me with all the saliva all over my face when she showers me with butterfly kisses... I mean licks me like a pup and my hubby has cooked my favorite dinner, adobong okra! Hhmmmm... that'll make my day!

Tired, eh?

I'm tired no more...

I’ve been to places you’ve never been
to pains unknown to the heart
to happiness new to the spirit
in the abyss of strangled souls

I’ve been to the wilderness
of humiliation
of passion
and of vengeance

I came not to seek laughter
I came not to follow the rainbow;
but I came for the storm
that would flush the empty souls
the souls of the lost world

Harharharharharharhar!!!

Trip trip lang…

Time flies so fast. As I have recollected with you, my American dream was born in 2005. I started from scratch. I only had an ounce of hope. But I pursued. I may not still be in the US but I am struggling like many others.

I started reading The Pilgrimage I think a couple of weeks ago and haven't finished the book yet because of too much work load -- as a Counselor and as a student. Idagdag pa diyan ang pagiging wify ko at momma-my sa two girls ko na super sa kakulitan (the source of my profoundest hormonal joy) pero malalambing at matatalino at cutie (kagaya ko... hope Ronald won't be able to read this!). So I am not ready to post an entry for my Bookworm Review, though a line... I mean lines, have caught my attention. Sabagay, halos ng binabasa ko ay puro pinadungis ng highlighter dahil mahilig akong mag-emphasize ng mga magaganda at meaningful lines sa mga binabasa ko (liban sa hiniram kong book kay Mamita) at lahat ng corners ay may sulat. "Letra lang ang walang latay" kumbaga dahil kapag sumasang-ayon ako sa nabasa ko, nag-leave ako ng comment. Pati kapag taliwas sa paniniwala ko ay nag-disagree din ako at ipinapamukha ko sa author ng librong binabasa ko ang mali sa point niya... though sa book ko lang naman ipinararating. Diddums!

And before I say more than you can bear, here is the line from the book that I thought applied to my own journey, struggle... my pilgrimage in life.

-- Petrus and Paulo started their Pilgrimage to the Road to San Tiago in search of Paulo's sword (whatever that is, it's for me to read pa). They crossed the Pyrenees in six days which could have only been travelled in a day. The distance from their point of origin to their destination is only seventeen kilometers. Petrus just pulled off Paulo in different routes to teach him a lesson. And this applied to me. And perhaps with you, too. Paulo didn't notice such because Petrus said, "The only thing that existed was your desire to arrive at your goal."

Petrus added, "When you are moving toward an objective, it is very important to pay attention to the road. It is the road that teaches us the best way to get there, and the road enriches us as we walk its length. And it is the same thing when you have an objective in your life. It will turn out to be better or worse depending on the route you choose to reach it and the way you negotiate that route."

Petrus is right, right?

Sometimes, we are too pre-occupied with our goals in life that it is the only thing that matters to us. We fail to see the road we take... the beauty in every experience and the relationships we build. I think this is what caught me most. As I journey, there at times I set aside some things I think are trivial but in the long run, I find myself getting mad at myself, saying, "Bakit ba hindi ko nakita iyon?" When it is but just common sense that I should have seen it or done this and that. But because my focus is the future, I forgot to consider the here and now... which is not just as equally important, but most important because this is what dictates the outcome of that future you are looking forward to and desiring to have.

In some ways, the road I chose to reach my objective is NOT forced. Every opportunity came my way. Every situation I find myself into is to my advantage. I grabbed them and savoured them with much enthusiasm. I went back to school. Finished some of the subjects but I never absent from class even the lessons are familiar. Every quiz and exam, I reviewed like they were the first time. They said I can just ask my professors to consider me as a refresher student, but I did not. I reported in class, submitted requirements on time and took my exams like everybody else. Special considerations? Nah! I hate those stuff! I want to earn every unit with my own effort. With that, I did not just earn the respect of my professors (good grades included) but also friends. If I frquently absent in class, would I have this kind of bond with my co-SpEd majors? I doubt it!

In my pilgrimage, I also became closer to my colleagues in school since we now share the same secrets. Hahahaha!!!

In my struggle, I have also nurtured my relationship with my aunts (father side), of whom I can say was never like this when Papa was still alive. We e-mail every now and then. They send my kids goodies and got some pairs of shoes. Diddums! But aside from that, the connection between us did not fade in the absence of my father, mas tumibay pa nga.

In my journey, I have proven my Ronald's love and support in all my undertakings (kasi daw sabi niya makikinabang siya sa dolyar! jokingly though!). My family, my brother Yamoj na talaga namang spoiled ako.

And lastly, my Creator, who provides me the eye to read amongst my pilgrimage His signs. Hope I understand them correctly. Thank you great Father for your gift of ME. I have known myself better through others -- what I am capable to do and achieve and what I am not destined to be.

Indeed the roads we travel are as important as our goals... even much more because they show us who we are and teach us the right path to that dream.

Hail to Thee!!!

This entry is interactive. I want to know your opinion about the following lines:

"Happiness... these moments, as good as they are... they are evil when they are gone."

Is this true?

Or is not?

Leave me your reactions. Either you post it in my Comments box or tick on the "Contact Me" tab and leave your messages and it will go directly to my inbox.

But, hey! Don't forget to leave your names and e-mail ads so I can thank you personally for your time.

Ciao!!!

Another name

 
A man said to a friend:

 
‘You talk about God as if you knew him personally, down to the colour of his eyes. Why do you need to create something to believe in? Can’t you live without that?’

 
His friend replied:

 
‘Do you have any idea how the Universe was created? Can you explain the miracle of life?’

 
‘Everything around us is the result of chance. Things just happen.’

 
‘Exactly. Well, "Things just happen" is merely another name for God.’

Things happen. And evrything in my belief don't just happen. They were made possible by a powerful being... more powerful than computers which man has devised to surpass that One true power. In the end, man forgets that his existence did not just happen... popping out of the cosmos, but this One true power whom he denies present is the One who made him possible.

The former message is a Daily Message posted by my favorite author in his website http://www.paulocoelho.com and you can refer to his daily messages anytime you want to further enrich your spirituality like what he did to me almost three years ago when I first got hold one of his books.

The latter is my comment which I left in his site.

How about you, what can you say about your own existence? Let me know, we might be in the same side of the cosmos.

Keep on reading my blogs. Next week, I will be posting Paulo Coelho's spirit-enriching exercises found in his book The Pilgrimage and hope you will embrace the same learning (or much more) like I did.

Have a great day everyone!!!

things will turn out well...

i am not in place to give encouragement for i have not followed what i always wanted...

but this i tell you ma'am...

shoot for the star!

-rai

Rai is one among the first graduates I have as a counselor at CKC. I didn't know she was following my blogs until she left a comment on one of my entries -- CABAnata 5: Divine Intervention and I'm quite inspired by her words.

I have always wanted to be a Counselor. I also wanted to pursue a degree in Clinical Psychology. I got married. Had children. I remained devoted to my vocation. In addition though, I was driven by the tides to what they call Special Education.

I tutored a child with autism. Then a child with mental retardation. Then came another child with autism. Then with a learning disability. Then with partial deafness. Until they grew in number. They came and they went. But all of them left an imprint in my life.

Then I finished my MA in Guidance and Counseling. Then a stupid Guidance and Counseling Act which had taken for granted my Master's degree and my nine years as a counselor. Would I take the Board Exam? I'm not decided yet.

Then opportunities poured. I grab each one with enthusiasm... with much hope in my heart that I may remain loyal in the profession I chose and be more than what I can imagine I could be. Perfectionist? No, I'm not. I just believe that if I was created in the image of God, then I can be whatever I want to be as long as I bear the goodness of intentions in my heart.

I don't want to just look up to the sky like what Vanessa and I usually do. I want to be one among the stars... giving light to many. Inspiring.

> Word of the day:  GGRRRRRRRRR!!!

> I got up from bed at exactly five this morning. I felt a sudden heaviness on my left arm. I almost wagged it off but mom's intuition told me to look at the left side of my bed… "Lo and behold!" I saw Gaby's fragile muscled feet lazily spread on top of my aching arms. I can't help but smile to myself and whisper a simple prayer thanking God He didn't take away Gaby away from us.

> I carefully eased out her feet. From across, I saw Bea with traces of laway on the right side of her lips, left foot atop a pillow between her and her sister; while her left hand gently holding Gaby's little fingers extended towards her. Again, I silenced a humongous laugh that was about to escape my mouth.

> When I was about to steady my feet, a strong warm hand tucked my right foot. And I felt butterfly kisses tickling my toes. Ronald said, "Too early. Won't you lie down for a couple of minutes?" I gave out a teasing grin and tenderly pulled my leg. "I can't. I shouldn't be late today. Too much work."

> And so I did my daily routine.

> School. I smiled at almost everybody I met along my way to my comfort zone – my cubicle. Of course, I have to smile at her. Who is she? SIYA. Basta siya. Pero di man lang niya ako nginitian. The nerve!

> I told myself, "And so…???" But deep inside I'm affected. I don't want to have somebody who treats me with cold shoulders when I'm only here to work not just for myself and my family but for the love of the profession I chose… synonymous to a vocation because my heart and the whole of who I am I so fully dedicate to what I do.

> Then the whole day, I worked my butt off my limits, perspired all the liquids in my body. I looked at the product of my efforts and I was pleased. Then here she comes in all her glory… what a graceful entrance… "Cha-cha-charaaaaaaan!"

> Okay! That made my day! Details? May amnesia na ako sa mga bagay na iyan. Basta kanina, nang mapuno ako… I cried a river… I mean an ocean. And now, I'm okay. Perfectly! Basta nailuha ko na, ayos na ako. Wala nang galit sa puso ko.

> If my friends who know me too well would read this, they will in chorus say: "Iyan si Marjo…IYAKIN!!!!"

> As a prelude… I think tears are my friends. They keep me strong. They help me keep my sanity. They uplift my spirit. They revitalize my emotional valence. They purify my soul.

Sabi nga ni BO: Kung gusto mong maging manunulat, eh di magsulat ka. Simple.

Taksyapo! Korak siya. Kaya nga ko nagsusulat ngayon kahit antok na antok na ko. Kasi nga nag-uunahan ang mga nagpiping-pong na mga salita sa utak ko. Kahit sa aking pagtulog ay nagsusumiksik sila at nag-uunahan na maisulat ko sila... (as if may mapapala ang bawat kataga ma-distinguish man sila nang dahil sa akin... Wehehehe!). At higit sa lahat, bago ang aking ballpen.

Korek ulit mga katoto... kung si BO namumulot ng mga nagkalat na ballpen at lapis, ako nama'y pinagkakagastusan ko talaga. As in talagang pinag-iipunan ko sila upang mabili ko lamang ang bawat kulay at disenyong magustuhan ko. Fixated yata ako sa something in my childhood na naging ballpen ang representation or hang-ups kaya na naging obsession ko ang ballpen na naging fetish... blah... blah... blah... end...

Basta, kani-kanina lang, bumili ako ng 5 ballpen na iisang brand pero iba't-ibang kulay. Orange ang ipinapangsulat ko sa draft ng blog entry kong ito. Meron din akong rose red ( na ewan kung ano ang ipinagka-iba sa plain na red lang... try ko tomorrow, promise... then i'll tell you if there's a difference at all...). Meron ding blue, green, wine o ordinaryong violet lang siya at cocoa na in blunt term ay brown lang din naman... ha? Sumobra ba ako ng banggit ng kulay? ah! Alam ko na, wala pala akong blue. Favorite ko kasi. Nabad-trip lang ako sa bookstore kanina kasi nagtatae yung dalawang blue na trinay ko. Madali pa naman akong mawalan ng gana pagdating sa mga depektibong panulat. Bakit kanyo? Pag nagtae kasi ang ballpen ko, biglang sumablay ang tinta o naputol ang pluma ng lapis na gamit ko (kung napudpod, okay lang... tinatasahan ko siya, pero kung naputol...), basurahan lang ang katapat nila dahil feeling ko (feeling ko lang naman... wag mong angkinin, okei!), maaapektuhan ang daloy ng magagandang alaala na isinusulat ng aking mga kamay mula sa mga nagtatagisang ping-pong words sa aking walang hasaang utak. In short... @#*"*"@#*

Gusto mo ng patotoo sa mga sinasabi ko? Eto ang pruweba: "Ngoooorrrkkkkk!" (hilik-hilik-hilik-laway na taas-baba, labas-masok sa nakabukang bunganga...) "Ngoooorrrkkkkkk!" (humaba pa ngayon na may kasamang full length whistle..............) Gudnyt! 

Have you; even for once in your life have experienced Divine intervention? Or have you tried challenging God to give you a sign especially so when you are at a verge of fear to decide on something, whether you are doing the right choice or not?

I have. Not just once but many times in my life.

Don't I feel ashamed of what I do because it is as if I am putting to the test the existence of a more powerful being than I am? Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don't. Isn't it that even Jesus himself tried to seek a sign from the Father when his death was nearing but in the end, he humbly said, "Let thy will be done."?

And so that's what I do, too. I knock and I hope for a positive response from the Father to open His door for my intentions.

Why am I telling all these stuff?

It is because of that "Not so highly qualified!" thing I am still worried about. It really bothers me you know. It is as if my dreams and plans are evaporating into thin air before my very eyes. Even when I said I don't hope much and that I just let the opportunities come and grab them if they do, in my heart, I know that this is the only hope I have not to let my children experience the same conditions I had as a child, as a growing teenager, as a student, as an adult and as a mother. Whatever these are, they involve painful experiences (traumatic in more ways than one) with financial difficulties as a source of or an off-shoot to something and of something. Most Filipinos know what I am talking about. I need not expand.

Divine intervention. No doubt it is there. I only falter to believe its existence. But every now and then He reminds me He is just there.

Let me count the ways. The night before I left for Manila to attend the seminar, I had a dream. A little bit vague. It was my mother. I remembered my brother's line when I almost forgot Mama's birthday last September 11, her 51^st supposed to be. Yamoj said, Mama might visit me. In Tagalog, mumultuhin daw ako ni Mama. I shrugged away the thought. But indeed she did, not to scold me though, but to encourage me to pursue my dreams. How did I say that? In my dream I heard her (actually I said my dream was vague because I didn't really see her face, but I felt it was her because of the gentleness of her voice and the feel she left in my heart) telling me that I should not give up. And that I have to be patient, something to that effect. She also mentioned some numbers I wasn't sure of and what is it all about. If these numbers were lottery winning numbers or what?! Geeezzzzz!!! But some angel whispered me, it is a sign.

I woke up crying a bit and pushed through as planned without clarity whatsoever about my dream. Then again, while I was packing my things, my husband and I had a little disagreement on what I am going to wear (which I already mentioned in CBAnata 4). I said my casual jeans are okay but he wants me to wear something formal (which I later on followed, of course he won me out again with his arguments) because if I did, I wouldn't have a coat. Day before, I texted my aunt, borrowing a coat of cream, black or brown hues since the only slacks I have is of these shades. But unfortunately, she wasn't able to lend me one. Or so I thought. Because before I boarded the bus to Manila, their van was in front the bus and she was frantically waving the coat out the window. In short, I had a coat. I counted to myself, second sign.

While in the bus, I recalled my dream. Thinking my butt out what the numbers really meant. I even can't remember what numbers were mentioned though I know there were. Again, I heard a small voice playing in my head telling me that the numbers were seventeen (17) and four (4). "What are these?", I asked back, even more puzzled this time. Then the voice said (Hey, just a warning: I am NOT a lunatic!), "One year in preschool, six years in grade school, four years in high school, four years in college, two years in graduate school before you got married ("Before Mama died, too.", that was my mind butting in.), so that's equal to seventeen."

"Yeah right! How about the number four?"

The voice continued, "You continued your MA in Guidance and finished it in two years time and you have the next two years to finish your MA in SpEd."

I need not add. The voice inside me was right. Mama was right. I have gone a long way and spent much in my studies (at times sacrificing my time with my kids, I mean usually on Saturdays) that it is impractical for me to just drop my hope.

I whispered a million of gratitude to Him who sent the voice to talk me out of my discouragement. So I had two signs to lighten up my soul which was taken away from me too soon because of that "Not so highly qualified" thing I discussed with you earlier in my previous CABAnata.

When did the third sign come? It also came too soon than what I expected it to come.  Last Friday, a friend and I were talking about signs. Another friend was also telling me about "knock and it shall be opened" stuff. I obeyed them. I prayed and prayed. I kept on hoping. I was weaving plans in my head that seemed impossible. Again so I thought because my doubts were answered.

Last Saturday while waiting for a bus to bring me to graduate college, the university's associate dean who happened to reside in the same town as I do arrived at the bus station minutes away before I was to ride a bus, just enough to tell her my dilemma, and just enough, too for her to give suggestions on how to solve my problem.

She suggested I take up MA in Science Education in the same university the following semester. I will be majoring in SpEd (since I am about to finish this semester all the academic requirements for SpEd) and Science becomes my minor. As for the four subjects I was supposed (one of which I have taken last summer) to repeat (because I was starting a new curriculum), she suggested that I ask for re-evaluation and if it is possible, be converted to PhD subjects.

That's it! As easy as I felt pathetic, I regained hope in a minute or so. Third sign.

My weekend, I spent it contemplating. Thanking too for the opportunities that come. I'll grab them. I know these are for me. I hope they are (Some jarred isolated note of disheartenment, eh!).

Divine intervention. They don't just come as they please. They are always there. In little ways. In subtle ways. In big-bang ways. But they are always there. It is just up to us to open our eyes and hearts and souls to the power of His presence.

And so be it!

P.S.

I would also like to thank you my dear readers for journeying with me. Writing is where I release my anxiety, my tension, that I may, in some way achieve a sense of well-being, homeostasis in a more scientific term (no matter how temporary the palliative effect may be), but it is through the words I share you that I maintain my sanity and my being.