Do you ever regret things

that you should have done, have not done,

said, unsaid,

remembered, forgotten

 or simply got so scared to face it?

 I have so many that at times I wish I can detime myself

I regret

.....letting myself be bullied in elementary school just because I was considered poor

.....keeping quiet even if I knew the answer for I was not popular enough

..... being ashamed of my hand me down clothes and wished I was not seen

..... being known as a know man's daughter but ironically looks like a pauper

..... always saying yes so that maybe, somehow I will fit in a group

......for refusing to answer correctly the exams so that I won't get into the honor roll, just because I didn't want to be seen with my parents

......for telling myself not to cry because Pride is the only thing I have

......for seeing myself so ugly, I wish I'd die

I regret

...... refusing anyone's help when I was in that adolescent stage

...... rebelling in a way that hurts no one but me at the end

...... being in the most popular group but somehow felt I was not included

...... again not answering correctly the exams and the "hell I care"

...... falsely falling in love to fill an empty void

...... suddenly being a pauper to being a loaded somebody since that man came back into our lives

...... thinking that I could solve any problem but almost always it turned to worst

...... being the loneliest high school graduate not knowing if I will still choose to live the next day

I regret

...... putting on a smile for everyone even if my heart was bleeding

...... trusting people who just wanted to borrow stuff

...... taking for granted my subjects since I was too angry to concentrate

...... faking to be in love with the wrong person

...... being in love with one friend while I was with the wrong person

...... not taking the risk when we had the chance, got too scared

......keeping quiet when he said "I love you" and I didn't even look when he left

...... graduating without any clue on what I learned for four years

I regret

..... being impatient with my first job, quitting after a week

..... partying too hard just because I didn't want to be home

..... falling in love with the most wrong person in the world

...... believing that he would change

.......alienating myself from others so I can "save" us

I regret

......meeting a person days a few days before I left

......not saying anything so he will know it was not a game

......not saying goodbye properly to a lot of people

......leaving all the photographs of my life

......having no closure on so many things

Yes, I do regret the above mentioned. However, these defined me as a person. Perhaps I was molded in the not so ideal way but still I continue to thrive. And this one I shall never regret.