Death star (DS)
Finally we meet Captain Polgas, I have just pefected cooking hard boiled egg. Perhaps you can come on board and we can exhange plesantries.
ES
Filteany, are you insulting me with hard boiled eggs? It is forbidden in the intergalactic balance of the force. You are unbalancing the flow of chi. Eggs are supposed to be poached not boiled. You are showing resistance to the alliance.
DS
Capt. Polgas, are you forgetting who you are talking to in this fake cardboard TV. I am under the hood of Emperor Palpatine and in time Darth Maul will join me in boling more eggs with a smiley stamped on it as copyright protection.
ES
I tried reasoning with you but it seems you have made up your mind. I will send an emissary to your ship to settle this peacefully, no bloodshed. Anakin Skywalker will be with Obi Wan Kenobi whose hair has been done by the great Yoda.
DS
You think I am sly Capt.Polgas. I will welcome them to my humble ship.
(Let's see whose eggs will be cooked first...mutters)
Anakin and Obi Wan reached the Death Star. Filteany upon going to to the darkside has consulted with Darth Sidious and Count Dooku on the next volleyball match. Tension was in the room.
Filteany: My dear guests, welcome to DS, short for death star. I reckon that you are here to persuade me to halt the Boiled Eggs Operation.
Anakin: You are very arrogant Filteany. This is not acceptable!
Obi Wan: Hush! Anakin, I will give you your bone later. Let me deal with this.
Obi wan tried his Jedi mind tricks but Filteany just felt....sleepy.
Filteany: Your powers are weakened here Obi Wan. The fumes from the Cloning Machine of Hard Boiled Eggs are poisoning your bloodstream. You will drop dead in 10 seconds. Oops! Sorry, I mean 5 seconds.
Obi Wan dropped and remained stiff like an erected phallic symbol- a murdered Jedi Master under the pedicured feet of Filteany. Delirious laughter rang through the hollow egg shell walls of the Death Star. Anakin looked down on his master and took out his lightsaber. Filteany flicked his nose and he too fell on his knees.
"I will make you a bargain, Anakin Skywalker. I heard about Princess Amidala. You like to play footsie with her, am I correct?"
Anakin: "Yes, I must admit her beauty surpasses all things that exist in this make believe for films galaxy. I desire to finger bang bang her until we reach level 20 on Mario Brothers on the Wii."
Filteany: I can arrange that for you if you join me, Anakin. Together we can rule the coop industry and clone every egg. We will be invincible!" Anakin surendered his lightsaber and bowed before Filteany.
Filteany: One more thing before I summon Amidala for you. Have you considered a black get' up for you with a boom box on your chest? It comes in other colors too. I heard women dig breathy, nasal and scuba like voice."
Warning: This is my make believe workstation. This is the real one
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyXBYu4QIcE
...though I have the complete set of Star Wars figues courtesy of Burger King.