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husbandhadanaffair > Emotional affair warning
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Posted: Apr.11.2011 @ 3:17 am | Lasted edited: Apr.11.2011 @ 12:04 am

One of the most difficult things to endure is being caught in an emotional affair with a married person.  For a woman being involved with a married man is especially hurtful. 

By nature women are loving, nurturing and trusting.  When you enter an emotional affair with a married man he knows exactly which buttons to push to get you to do what he wants you to do.  Whatever control you think you have in the relationship does not exist.  Of course, this is not fair to you and it's reason enough for you to end the affair.

If you find yourself in an emotional affair with a married man who says you are ideal for him and he can't live without you, ask yourself why you are the mistress and not the wife.  The answer is simple: he is not willing to leave his wife for you and has no intention of ever doing so.  He will try to string you along as far as he can to enjoy the attention and sex (if you are already sleeping with him) but moment you present him with an ultimatum, he will chose his wife over you.

No matter how many promises he makes about the blissful future that awaits you together, understand that it won't happen because if he was sincere about it, he would have already left his wife instead of stalling for time over and over again and giving you excuse after excuse to make you wait longer for something that he will never do.  

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husbandhadanaffair > Getting over an affair
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Posted: Mar.11.2011 @ 10:24 pm
In accordance to statistical reports men cheat more than females. That is probably not unexpected to anyone. The real problem here is why do men cheat. That is not something which has been definitely nailed down, but at this time there is a single rationale which seems to jump out from others. Stay with me to discover the most frequent motive that men cheat in marriages.

The Motive

Most females are inclined to feel it is their fault that their man is cheating. This causes the woman feeling bad about herself and brings about difficulties with self-confidence. The fact is that the main reason men cheat has nothing to do with the woman they're with.

The most common reason men cheat is that they have a natural drive to search for various sexual partners. They may look for someone who has a quality their present significant other doesn't have, but that draws them.

Males look to be naturally willing to cheat. It is controllable, though, because there are a lot of men that do not mess around. Even so, for some men that biological draw is too powerful. They might not even mean to hurt the woman they're with, but that is always what appears to transpire.

How to Identify Cheating

Recognizing disloyalty is not always simple. It might become difficult if the man has had an affair in the past. Then again, there is some truth to the old saying once a cheater, always a cheater, because once a man succumbs to the natural urge they have a hard time deflecting it in the future.

Usually you may have a feeling or observe changes in your lover that signal he is cheating. You could even see totally obvious signs such as lipstick stains on clothes or reek of another woman's perfume. You may even get a call from his other woman. At times the other woman may talk with you and explain to you what's going on and other times they simply hang up.

husbandhadanaffair > Survive infidelity
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Posted: Mar.11.2011 @ 9:44 pm
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husbandhadanaffair > Save your marriage from emotional affair
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Posted: Mar.11.2011 @ 5:38 am
Finding that your disloyal spouse is having an emotional affair with another individual can be crushing. I hear frequently, "that I can handle her sleeping with another person. I imagine it's possible to cope with that". Nevertheless, for her to offer her love to another person is difficult for me to swallow.

What can you particularly do to strengthen the odds of saving the marriage? Usually the stunned spouse reacts passionately and then pulls out all stops to win her back.

Grow to be overbearing. Begs. Sweet-talks. Makes assurances to change. Gets in her face. Sends flowers. Sets up dates. Talks to to her family and friends. Stalks her by phone. Constant questioning, often even hourly. She can hardly breath without him in her face and that's the way he prefers it.

It always fails.

Why? Well, for one reason she has discovered all the arousal and excitement she seems to require in her newfound love. At a deeper level this is puzzling enough for the disloyal man or disloyal wife. Any additional feedback will be too much to handle and she is subject to closing the door on the marriage even further. Plus, you might be better served by giving some emotional balance, by being that solid focused center that will hold her firm when the wind of drama or that external excitement entices and blows her all over.

Should you overwhelm the woman with your neediness, then you are absolutely NOT helping your marital rapport in an essential way which is needed during this period. Your woman is also likely to push a deeper wedge between you by creating comparisons between you and him. With your neediness leaking all over the place, you have no possibility of coming out ahead. Sorry.

Here's a tactic that helps solve the dilemma and enhances the odds of saving the marriage. It's called backing off. You will need to find out the right way to disconnect. Stop agitating her. Keep a low profile. Be silent - most of the time. Stop making requests which could be looked at as breaching her private breathing space. Cease asking questions. Stop trying gain some assurance from the woman. Stop being a complete pain.

Remember, this affectionate state will probably diminish. You should have the confidence that it may. You will probably need a boatload of patience though. This exterior extramarital relationship can and, with the right elements, will, run its course.

She demands the room. She needs some silent time to actually find herself and confront the emotional void within. Whether or not she at any time shares it with you, your lady will often question if or not this is what she actually wishes? At some time I must come back to reality. Exactly where am I going with this? Is this the route that I really would like to go? Exactly why am I so reliant on him? Why do I experience this bare pit in my stomach when I'm not with him? What does this state about me?

In the event that she is mature enough, this is her chance to find out what GENUINE love is. Never get in her way. I know. This is better said than done. However, you must do it. It is extremely crucial that you find out to control yourself and keep on the right and narrow path. It's at this stage with the men I train, exactly where I show them a skill called "charging neutral" to help "back off." Apply that skill. This can require some hard work. It almost certainly will require that you learn to know yourself better, that you gain more confidence in youself apart from what you may perhaps consider she does with him, and that you create a strong foundation under yourself that can withstand this tempest.

This is your chance to grow to a new level. She will notice. And, she might like it. Your backing off doesn't necessarily mean that you will fully avoid her. Really the contrary. You need to keep in contact with her, but make it stictly quality time. Try to make certain that it will be the kind of communication that does reward you, and that confronts her with the truth of her decision. It could quite possibly work toward resolution for the union.

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