|
| Posted: Jan.18.2011 @ 3:50 pm |
If you attract a lover right now, they will be just as screwed up as you are right now!
People all seem to have a common question about relationships: "I want a lover who loves me completely, who supports me in my dreams and goals, who gives me moral support and boosts me up when I'm down. Where is this person? I want him or her in my life now!"
With 6.8 billion people on the planet, there is no doubt that person is out there. With all the social networking that exists now I have no doubt that you can also be connected easily with that person. But I also believe that you need to look deeper into your desire before that ideal person can show up for you.
The desires set forth above are wonderful. They reflect what we all have in common: the need to be loved, to feel safe and to be seen. But what is missing is the second side of the equation: what you can offer the other person. Think about it, do you really want a person who is so selfless as to simply exist to support your dreams and goals, and love you completely? Or, do you want someone balanced, who loves himself or herself and has the same desire to be supported by another?
That is the key. We are walking magnets that attract everything to us. We will actually attract precisely the person we are. To attract the person balanced in self love and love for another, we need to become that person ourselves.
This is the awareness that most people don't think about! We usually think about what we want the other person to be and to give us, but do not think about what we want to bring to them and be for them. And that's exactly why they aren't showing up. What shows up is what we are right now.
Here's where it gets really fun - the first person that we need to be supportive of and unconditionally loving of is our own self! That is great news because it means that we don't have to wait for some other person to come along before we can practice the art of unconditional love. What we do have to do is figure out how to give it and receive it from ourselves
Loving ourselves is a concept that is not often taught or encouraged. Yet it is essential if we are to have that kind of a partner. This is one of those areas of life that the inner shift is created in baby steps; especially for folks who are accustomed to habitually criticizing themselves. Take heart though, it CAN be done, and you can start right now!
Start each day with the commitment to really care for yourself in your thoughts and emotions. Be kind to yourself; be as gentle asyou would be with a small, innocent, trusting child. Give yourself the gifts of laughter and love every day. Be allowing and accepting of who you are. Just this personal kindness alone will start shifting you, and bringing you closer to your ideal lover. Let yourself be your first beloved, and your wonderful romantic partner will stroll into your life, effortlessly and easily.
Rick Schaefer M.D. is an established author and is the creator of Extreme Thought Makeove-37 Days to Maximum Life! He has a life coaching practice, teaching from the principles in his program. Rick also has 19 years experience as a physician, and 14 years experience studying personal development, success, and the Law of Attraction. He now works at the intersection of those two fields by helping people at the root cause of disease -their thinking. He is the father of three, and makes his home in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, at the shore of Lake Michigan.
He can be heard regularly on WISN Radio 1130 AM in Milwaukee. He has been President of the Anesthesia Society, has taught at the Medical College of Wisconsin, has been featured in the Wall Street Journal and on National Public Radio, and has been a featured speaker at regional and national success seminars. He has also appeared on the Lifetime TV Network's "The Balancing Act."
|
| Posted: Jan.12.2011 @ 3:16 pm |
You may have heard the phrase "just do it!" There is a lot of wisdom in it. In our lives we constantly face choices. When we try to imagine how we will feel as the result of the two alternatives in a choice, we try to pick the choice that we predict will feel better. Many times that choice is about doing something, or not doing it. I suggest doing it, because it is a lot easier to make the decision of whether to continue to do something when you already know how it feels to do it, instead of just guessing on how it will feel.
It's no big deal if you choose to do something differently after you start it. You always have another choice to make, and another. You will be much better prepared to choose if you actually have done it.
When you pause from a task, a job, exercise, or even life itself, it sometimes is hard to find the motivation or inspiration to get back to it. Often it feels like there is no point, you do not feel like doing it and you expect the results to be poor. Most of us find that simply by doing something small it feels better, and the motivation then comes from feeling the sense of accomplishment from the doing.
Let me use the example of sales. Often someone in sales will feel like their heart is just not in it right now, because of feeling down from events in other parts of their life. Usually, if they just make a phone call anyway, and have a conversation, it will be uplifting. The human interaction helps, and the sense of accomplishment from simply doing it helps too, regardless of the outcome of the call. That action brings the inspiration to make another call, and another.
In this way, the motivation to do something can come from the actual doing of it. This is true of many other aspects of our life as well. As jumping into a pool of water is motivation to swim, the doing of a little something is usually motivation to do more of it. Do not be scared, you can always get out of the water, dry off, and go do something else.
Action can be a cure for doubt and lack of motivation, but can also be a cure for sadness, hopelessness, and depression. There is a constant desire in all of us to learn, grow and expand; to follow desires. Having desires is what makes us feel alive. Most learning in life comes not from just thinking about something, but from the actual doing of it. Life experience is the greatest teacher of all.
So go out and "just do it!" It will feel great!
Visit Dr. Rick's extremely helpful blog at http://www.rickschaefermd.com/blog for more articles on personal development, tips, law of attraction simplified and his personal updates.
Dr. Rick is available for personal coaching. For more information on his coaching, or his revolutionary program Extreme Thought Makeover, visit http://www.rickschaefermd.com. Order his new book, ""Extreme Thought Makeover...37 Days to Maximum Life on his website. |
| Posted: Jan.06.2011 @ 2:27 pm |
I have been writing about goal-setting all this week. Today I want to focus on our lack of awareness of all the wonderful answers we get to our goal-setting behaviors.
Recognition of a goal achieved is surprisingly low among us. I have a personal example to share with you about this. When I was choosing my initial career path I chose medicine. One of the reasons I did this was because I had seen the movie "The Paper Chase" and was hugely inspired by the immense academic challenge of law school and getting a doctorate degree. Since science was more to my liking, I felt that medical school would be a better fit. I set out to take on the greatest academic challenge of my life. When I arrived, I found the teaching to be unexpectedly uninspiring and independent. I was seriously disappointed with what I interpreted as lousy teaching, and I did not score well the first two years.
It was not until ten years later, when I was sharing my disappointment about this with the greatest teacher I ever had, my high school history teacher and tennis coach, Groomer B. "Sam" Davis. Mr. Davis, from his wise perspective as an observer simply stated, "It sounds like you got exactly what you asked for." Wow, I had never seen it that way before. Ten years I was telling the same story of disappointment, and never even realized I had been gifted with what I had asked for. I had my mind set on the academic challenge being in one specific form, which was to have teachers who were interactive. But what happened was even more challenging for me, which was teachers who DID NOT interact, making me learn independently, and that was much more difficult. It was a true epiphany for me.
This is more common than you might think. Many of us simply do not notice when the answer to our asking comes, or when our goal is achieved.
How could we miss it? Well, sometimes our goal is specified to be very distinct in our minds, and we are not open to the desired result coming in a different form. Let me give you a more common example.
Suppose your goal is to make more money. You state your goal, and describe in detail how you want to be recognized by your boss at work, receive a promotion, and gain an increase in income related to your promotion. But then, you surprisingly get offered a wonderful job at a different company with a higher salary. You may feel frustration that a great offer is coming to you, but yet, your own boss does not appreciate you and give you the promotion. You then go back to work even more disappointed and unhappy.
This is an example of you getting exactly what you are asking for, more income, but not recognizing it because your focus is on your current boss and the specific job you currently have.
Open your perspective to recognizing any answer that is brought to you. Perhaps you can talk these things through with a trusted friend or spouse, and they as an observer may be able to see what you are missing.
It is really a fun adventure, when you start to recognize all the goals and desires that actually are manifesting around you. It happens more often than any of us realize.
Visit Dr. Rick's extremely helpful blog at http://www.rickschaefermd.com/blog for more articles on personal development, tips, law of attraction simplified and his personal updates.
Dr. Rick is available for personal coaching. For more information on his coaching, or his revolutionary program Extreme Thought Makeover, visit http://www.rickschaefermd.com. Order his new book, ""Extreme Thought Makeover...37 Days to Maximum Life on his website. |
| Posted: Jan.05.2011 @ 3:50 pm |
Goal setting usually comes with some good feelings, and some not so good feelings. The feeling we can have when there is something we SHOULD do does not usually feel good. Here is different approach to goal setting that is guaranteed to feel good, through and through!
What you think about is what you create; whether you consciously want it or not. It is the New Year, 2011, a time for fresh starts and resolutions and setting new goals. In honor of the New Year, I will focus on a theme this week: Goal-setting and achieving. Today I will share a Law of Attraction perspective on goals. From that perspective, goal achieving is done from the inside out. The belief is that 99% of the work is done internally and then when you are totally ready and in perfect alignment with your goal, the result bursts out in an unstoppable fashion. This probably feels a little like "just think it, and it will be." It seems like it might lack action, but it does not. It just asks that you do not try to force it or make it happen before it's time.
Some would see it as procrastination, but the Law of Attraction perspective is that there is genius in procrastination. Have you ever had an inspiration that just came flowing out of you in an unstoppable and easy way? There is no stopping it, is there? That is the idea. Create your goal, write it down, put in some detail steps if you like, and then think about it! Visualize the completion of the goal, the joy in the process of it, and the moments that will give you the greatest happiness along the way. Visualize those moments, and the happiness in the achieving of all of it. And then wait until you just cannot wait any longer and the whole thing bursts out of you.
One of the advantages of this approach is that there is an internal monitor. What bursts out of you will always be consistent with your life purpose. If you take action prematurely, and make it happen, it could manifest in a way that will not be satisfying or successful.
Let us explore the nature of the Law of Attraction. According to most experts, it states that basically what you put your attention on, expands. What you think about will manifest. It seems simple enough. Apparently all we need to do is think about something and it will appear in our lives. Yes, it is that simple. Surely you know of a child who relentlessly asks for a particular new toy; ultimately they will get it. The child's singular focus of thought is so relentless that it simply must come to be. For you however, the trick is in how you think about it.
Tomorrow I will discuss how missed messages stand in our way of achieving our goals. In the meanwhile, monitor your words and your thoughts relative to goal-setting. Clear out the thoughts of what you do not have, and keep the focus on what you want.
Visit Dr. Rick's extremely helpful blog at http://www.rickschaefermd.com/blog for more articles on personal development, tips, law of attraction simplified and his personal updates.
Dr. Rick is available for personal coaching. For more information on his coaching, or his revolutionary program Extreme Thought Makeover, visit http://www.rickschaefermd.com. Order his new book, ""Extreme Thought Makeover...37 Days to Maximum Life on his website. |
| Posted: Jan.03.2011 @ 2:51 pm |
One sweet dream came true today. - The Beatles, from "You Never Give Me Your Money"
Most of us will be writing New Year's resolutions or new goals for the new year. I have an idea for you in preparation for that. Before you write about all that you desire to have come into your life, make a list of all the resolutions and goals that came true for 2010.
Many common New Year's resolutions are "I want to make more money", "I want to lose weight", "I want to quit smoking", "I want to be in better health", or "I want a new lover". What I am suggesting you do is write about the weight you lost last year; for example the month where you dropped eight pounds, even if you gained it all back. Write about the 24 hours you quit smoking last year. Write about the exercising you did in 2010, and the times your body felt more fit and more healthy, even if just for a while. Write about the love that you have in your life now and all through 2010; all the love you received and all the love you gave. Write about the money you made last year, especially all the new money that showed up that was a new pathway from 2009. Write about each new pathway that opened up for you. The more you reflect the more it will surprise you; money that was gifted to you, a small raise, a new job, any insurance or tax refund, or money from something you sold.
By focusing on the positive aspects of 2010, three things will happen for you. You will be of the right energy to go ahead and write about what you want for 2011. You will also more easily attract something if your attention is on the fact that you have already attracted it. In reality, that is a way of incorporating the energy of "acting as if" you have already achieved a new goal, because you actually already have. And finally, it just feels better to be in appreciation of what you have accomplished or received, rather than focusing on the absence of something in your life.
Perhaps after you do this, you will not even need the New Year's resolutions… you will be able to work off the list of things you accomplished in 2010 and simply want to have more of.
Visit Dr. Rick's extremely helpful blog at http://www.rickschaefermd.com/blog for more articles on personal development, tips, law of attraction simplified and his personal updates.
Dr. Rick is available for personal coaching. For more information on his coaching, or his revolutionary program Extreme Thought Makeover, visit http://www.rickschaefermd.com. Order his new book, ""Extreme Thought Makeover...37 Days to Maximum Life on his website. |
| Posted: Dec.28.2010 @ 3:45 pm |
The only way you can get in a rut is by CHOOSING to
think the same thoughts over and over again.
What happens in the world around you is a product
of your interpretation. If you ask one hundred people
who witnessed the same event to describe that event,
you will get 100 different interpretations of that same
event, all perceived through slightly varied senses of
sight, sound, smell, taste, and feeling. All perceived
differently based on the individual's personal history,
knowledge, upbringing, belief system, and cultural
and religious beliefs. Our past is dependent upon
interpretation.
Sounds complicated, eh? But really all it means is that
our environment is dependent upon our inner self.
It is not what happens to us, but our interpretation
of what happens to us. So, if what actually happens
is a variable of our thinking and belief, then the
present is dependent upon interpretation also.
Each moment is a choice as well. What we choose to
put our attention on in any given moment is a choice,
no matter what is going on around us. As we think
about the future, we have the option of coloring that
thought to our liking as well. We can imagine the next
moment to be inspiring and wonderful, or negative
and repetitive. To be in a rut, we have to bring in a
thought that our future will be just like our past. It's
like listening to a song and hitting replay ten seconds
into the song and continually hearing the same
section over and over and over. Our future is therefore
dependent upon interpretation as well.
My point today is that we actually have conscious
control over our future. To create a future that is
just like our past we have to hit the replay button
every ten seconds, in other words we have to
consciously put thoughts in our head that are
identical to the thoughts we had before. The only
way we can be in a "rut" or "stuck" is to consciously
create the same thing over and over.
So shake it up! Practice thinking new thoughts.
Pick out some little thing and think differently
about it. Master it. See your world change one
little thing at a time. As you practice, you can
move your thoughts to bigger and bigger things
in your life, and you will have the ability to transform
your life in any way imaginable.
Replace those repetitive thoughts of old, and break
out of the rut, get unstuck. You will be able to create
the future of your own desire simply by transforming
your thoughts, about the past, the present, and the future!
Visit Dr. Rick's extremely helpful blog at http://www.rickschaefermd.com/blog for more articles on personal development, tips, law of attraction simplified and his personal updates.
Dr. Rick is available for personal coaching. For more information on his coaching, or his revolutionary program Extreme Thought Makeover, visit http://www.rickschaefermd.com. Order his new book, ""Extreme Thought Makeover...37 Days to Maximum Life on his website. |
| Posted: Dec.06.2010 @ 1:47 pm |
Dr. Rick Schaefer, Law of Attraction Expert, author and life coach, shared his ideas about the things that we celebrate in life and suggested "Instead of looking at the big things that are going wrong, look at the little things that are going right."
"It is truly amazing, if you choose to focus on it, what is right in the world. Your heart is beating perfectly, supplying blood flow which contains oxygen perfectly bound to hemoglobin, perfectly reaching each and every cell in your body. And that cell knows perfectly what to do to transport that oxygen inside, and feed over one hundred thousand chemical reactions perfectly each second, and every protein is perfectly synthesized in perfect balance with that cell's needs, and every molecule within that protein is made perfectly of the right mix of atoms, and within each atom the electrons are spinning perfectly around the nucleus."
"What do you consciously do to make this infinite amount of activity work perfectly and in balance? Nothing! Absolutely nothing. Even in the absence of a conscious breath, your body perfectly exchanges air with the outside world. That process is called respiration, made up of expiration and inspiration. Mmmmmmm, inspiration: that sounds perfect, doesn't it?"
"Perhaps these little things that are going right are actually the big things, and all the rest is really the small stuff. Perhaps who likes who, who has what, and who has how much money, what the economy is doing, are the little things, and the miracles of human life on this planet are really the big things. And just think about it: if the miracle of life is not happening, then the little things are irrelevant."
Dr. Schaefer suggested "Instead of looking at the little things going wrong, look at all the big things going right: perfectly right! One of the beautiful benefits of taking this perspective and that it removes all personal responsibility from you. What a huge relief! To think that it is not even necessary for you to take any action on the big things is truly a relief."
"You do not have to do one single thing to make your heart beat or your lungs breathe, or the cells in your body to do their assigned jobs. Oh, did I mention that the cells figure out their individual job all by themselves, and you do not have to figure it out for them? They all know what to do, and do what they are supposed to do, all by themselves!"
"Let us all celebrate this together! We can think about all of the amazing cells in our body, and feel the wonder of them all. Do it now and feel your feeling of celebration!"
Visit Dr. Rick's extremely helpful blog at http://www.rickschaefermd.com/blog for more articles on personal development, tips, law of attraction simplified and his personal updates.
Dr. Rick is available for personal coaching. For more information on his coaching, or his revolutionary program Extreme Thought Makeover, visit http://www.rickschaefermd.com. Order his new book, ""Extreme Thought Makeover...37 Days to Maximum Life on his website. |
| Posted: Dec.06.2010 @ 1:45 pm |
Dr. Rick Schaefer, Law of Attraction Expert, author and life coach, shared his ideas about the things that we celebrate in life and suggested "Instead of looking at the big things that are going wrong, look at the little things that are going right."
"It is truly amazing, if you choose to focus on it, what is right in the world. Your heart is beating perfectly, supplying blood flow which contains oxygen perfectly bound to hemoglobin, perfectly reaching each and every cell in your body. And that cell knows perfectly what to do to transport that oxygen inside, and feed over one hundred thousand chemical reactions perfectly each second, and every protein is perfectly synthesized in perfect balance with that cell's needs, and every molecule within that protein is made perfectly of the right mix of atoms, and within each atom the electrons are spinning perfectly around the nucleus."
"What do you consciously do to make this infinite amount of activity work perfectly and in balance? Nothing! Absolutely nothing. Even in the absence of a conscious breath, your body perfectly exchanges air with the outside world. That process is called respiration, made up of expiration and inspiration. Mmmmmmm, inspiration: that sounds perfect, doesn't it?"
"Perhaps these little things that are going right are actually the big things, and all the rest is really the small stuff. Perhaps who likes who, who has what, and who has how much money, what the economy is doing, are the little things, and the miracles of human life on this planet are really the big things. And just think about it: if the miracle of life is not happening, then the little things are irrelevant."
Dr. Schaefer suggested "Instead of looking at the little things going wrong, look at all the big things going right: perfectly right! One of the beautiful benefits of taking this perspective and that it removes all personal responsibility from you. What a huge relief! To think that it is not even necessary for you to take any action on the big things is truly a relief."
"You do not have to do one single thing to make your heart beat or your lungs breathe, or the cells in your body to do their assigned jobs. Oh, did I mention that the cells figure out their individual job all by themselves, and you do not have to figure it out for them? They all know what to do, and do what they are supposed to do, all by themselves!"
"Let us all celebrate this together! We can think about all of the amazing cells in our body, and feel the wonder of them all. Do it now and feel your feeling of celebration!"
Visit Dr. Rick's extremely helpful blog at http://www.rickschaefermd.com/blog for more articles on personal development, tips, law of attraction simplified and his personal updates.
Dr. Rick is available for personal coaching. For more information on his coaching, or his revolutionary program Extreme Thought Makeover, visit http://www.rickschaefermd.com. Order his new book, ""Extreme Thought Makeover...37 Days to Maximum Life on his website. |
| Posted: Dec.06.2010 @ 1:44 pm |
Dr. Rick Schaefer, Law of Attraction Expert, author and life coach, shared his ideas about the things that we celebrate in life and suggested "Instead of looking at the big things that are going wrong, look at the little things that are going right."
"It is truly amazing, if you choose to focus on it, what is right in the world. Your heart is beating perfectly, supplying blood flow which contains oxygen perfectly bound to hemoglobin, perfectly reaching each and every cell in your body. And that cell knows perfectly what to do to transport that oxygen inside, and feed over one hundred thousand chemical reactions perfectly each second, and every protein is perfectly synthesized in perfect balance with that cell's needs, and every molecule within that protein is made perfectly of the right mix of atoms, and within each atom the electrons are spinning perfectly around the nucleus."
"What do you consciously do to make this infinite amount of activity work perfectly and in balance? Nothing! Absolutely nothing. Even in the absence of a conscious breath, your body perfectly exchanges air with the outside world. That process is called respiration, made up of expiration and inspiration. Mmmmmmm, inspiration: that sounds perfect, doesn't it?"
"Perhaps these little things that are going right are actually the big things, and all the rest is really the small stuff. Perhaps who likes who, who has what, and who has how much money, what the economy is doing, are the little things, and the miracles of human life on this planet are really the big things. And just think about it: if the miracle of life is not happening, then the little things are irrelevant."
Dr. Schaefer suggested "Instead of looking at the little things going wrong, look at all the big things going right: perfectly right! One of the beautiful benefits of taking this perspective and that it removes all personal responsibility from you. What a huge relief! To think that it is not even necessary for you to take any action on the big things is truly a relief."
"You do not have to do one single thing to make your heart beat or your lungs breathe, or the cells in your body to do their assigned jobs. Oh, did I mention that the cells figure out their individual job all by themselves, and you do not have to figure it out for them? They all know what to do, and do what they are supposed to do, all by themselves!"
"Let us all celebrate this together! We can think about all of the amazing cells in our body, and feel the wonder of them all. Do it now and feel your feeling of celebration!"
Visit Dr. Rick's extremely helpful blog at http://www.rickschaefermd.com/blog for more articles on personal development, tips, law of attraction simplified and his personal updates.
Dr. Rick is available for personal coaching. For more information on his coaching, or his revolutionary program Extreme Thought Makeover, visit http://www.rickschaefermd.com. Order his new book, ""Extreme Thought Makeover...37 Days to Maximum Life on his website. |
| Posted: Dec.06.2010 @ 1:42 pm |
Dr. Rick Schaefer, Law of Attraction Expert, author and life coach, shared his ideas about the things that we celebrate in life and suggested "Instead of looking at the big things that are going wrong, look at the little things that are going right."
"It is truly amazing, if you choose to focus on it, what is right in the world. Your heart is beating perfectly, supplying blood flow which contains oxygen perfectly bound to hemoglobin, perfectly reaching each and every cell in your body. And that cell knows perfectly what to do to transport that oxygen inside, and feed over one hundred thousand chemical reactions perfectly each second, and every protein is perfectly synthesized in perfect balance with that cell's needs, and every molecule within that protein is made perfectly of the right mix of atoms, and within each atom the electrons are spinning perfectly around the nucleus."
"What do you consciously do to make this infinite amount of activity work perfectly and in balance? Nothing! Absolutely nothing. Even in the absence of a conscious breath, your body perfectly exchanges air with the outside world. That process is called respiration, made up of expiration and inspiration. Mmmmmmm, inspiration: that sounds perfect, doesn't it?"
"Perhaps these little things that are going right are actually the big things, and all the rest is really the small stuff. Perhaps who likes who, who has what, and who has how much money, what the economy is doing, are the little things, and the miracles of human life on this planet are really the big things. And just think about it: if the miracle of life is not happening, then the little things are irrelevant."
Dr. Schaefer suggested "Instead of looking at the little things going wrong, look at all the big things going right: perfectly right! One of the beautiful benefits of taking this perspective and that it removes all personal responsibility from you. What a huge relief! To think that it is not even necessary for you to take any action on the big things is truly a relief."
"You do not have to do one single thing to make your heart beat or your lungs breathe, or the cells in your body to do their assigned jobs. Oh, did I mention that the cells figure out their individual job all by themselves, and you do not have to figure it out for them? They all know what to do, and do what they are supposed to do, all by themselves!"
"Let us all celebrate this together! We can think about all of the amazing cells in our body, and feel the wonder of them all. Do it now and feel your feeling of celebration!"
Visit Dr. Rick's extremely helpful blog at http://www.rickschaefermd.com/blog for more articles on personal development, tips, law of attraction simplified and his personal updates.
Dr. Rick is available for personal coaching. For more information on his coaching, or his revolutionary program Extreme Thought Makeover, visit http://www.rickschaefermd.com. Order his new book, ""Extreme Thought Makeover...37 Days to Maximum Life on his website. |
|
|